I believe that I, S, have found the secret to fabulous, shiny hair: get pregnant.
The problem with that philosophy is that it eventually ends. No matter how long you breastfeed, your hormones eventually stabilize, while your fabulous hair falls out and goes back to it's normal dull, limp, frizzy state. (I should know – I've been testing the limit on breastfeeding to prevent the return of crap hair). So my consolation prize? John Master's Organics shampoo and conditioner. It is the closest approximation I have found to fabulous pregnancy hair. I have tested this completely unscientific survey on myself and my mother. Here are the "facts":
I have long, sometimes veering on tragically-long colored hair that is otherwise in pretty good condition for living in the high altitude desert that is Denver. John Master's Evening Primrose Shampoo For Dry Hair and the Honey and Hibiscus Hair Reconstructor leave my hair soft, shiny, and almost pregnancy-like. Seriously.
My mother uses the same conditioner, but she also uses his Honey and Hibiscus Hair Reconstructing Shampoo. Her post-chemo hair grew back curly, and is now going a bit gray, so she ends up with frequent coloring in a very humid climate. As a result, her hair texture is coarse. The changes this shampoo-conditioner pair wrought were virtually tear-inducing. In a happy way, of course. NOTE: I started with the Honey and Hibiscus Hair Reconstructing Shampoo, but it was too heavy for me. This is a serious shampoo for seriously dry or coarse hair.
But this stuff isn't cheap. My shampoo (Evening Primrose, pictured above left) is $16 for 8 oz, my mom's shampoo (Honey and Hibiscus, pictured center) is $26 for 6 oz and our conditioner (pictured above right)? Gulp. It's $28 for 4 oz. Ouch.
However, the eco-friendly folks at John Master's just introduced 35 oz. sizes for all of our favorite products. Not only is it better for the environment, but it saves some serious cash. Let's do the math:
Evening Primrose Shampoo: This would cost $70 if you bought enough individual bottles to make 35 oz, but they are offering the 35 oz bottle for $50.
Honey and Hibiscus Shampoo: Would cost $151 if you bought enough small bottles to equate to 35 oz, but the offer the larger 35 oz size for only $100.
Honey and Hibiscus Hair Reconstructor: Would cost – YIKES – $245 for enough small bottles to make 35 oz, but the 35 oz bottle is only $125! Did I do that correctly? Yup. Just double-checked.
Also, the John Master's website offers free shipping on all orders, and no tax outside of NY.
It's like a Costo-style bargain without having to go and play cart wars with the scary, super-size carts or even scarier plus-size jars of mayonnaise. Shudder.
tossing my pregnancy-looking hair insouciantly over one shoulder
Whatever. You can thank me later.