April 6, 2011

Lululemon, I love you (And Your Hot Mom Yoga Pants).

IMG_2376 I had one of those days recently.  Raines was on an all-morning whining spree ("But where's my blue car??? My bluuuuuueee car???  Bluuuuueeeee car!  NO! NO!  OTHER BLUE CAR!! NOT THAT BLUE CAR!! NEVER EVER THAT BLUUUUUUUEEEEEE CAAAAAARRRRRR") and Pax was inexplicably crying and I was tired and my legs and butt hurt. 

They hurt.  Not from working out, oooooh no….but from inactivity.  My muscles were starting to atrophy.  Despite my best efforts to figure out a way to get myself back to ballet class…it hasn't happened.  In four years. And I don't have enough zen power to deal with two unhappy babes while I pop in a workout DVD.  So I decided, right then and there, that it was time to run.  I had been a cross-country runner in high school…but haven't run much since then.   *snort*  Almost 15 years ago.

"We are ALL going for a run!"  I announced to my unhappy little men.  "Get dressed!!!"

2 hours later, we were ready to leave.  Barely.  I was totally unable to find my running shoes (last time worn: 2 years ago) so I settled for a pair of cute sneaks.  I was able to find my nursing sports bra, but my old running gear?  Nothing fit.  And my cute loungepants were all too long.  So I ended up leaving the house in a baggy old pair of Adidas track pants (hemmed a touch too short), my sports bra and a white cotton v-neck tee.  Having, by this point, LOST MY MIND, the tee I threw on was skintight and too sheer…thus showing off both my postpartum pooch and the dark line still present on said poochy belly.  H-O-T.

But whatever.  We were out the door, and I was going for a run.  Once around the park and then home.  Even if it killed us.

Except…the stroller had a flat tire.  Not a tire that had a slow leak, but a completely flat tire.  This is the same stroller I would need IN TWO DAYS when I flew solo, with both boys, to Florida. 

Deep cleansing breath.

{And did I mention that the stroller was buried under a mountain of ski gear that I had to carry back up to our apartment in trips, both boys in tow?  No?  Well, I did.  Cursing my husband the whole way.  Cause carrying heavy stuff, I'm pretty sure, is a man job.  Anywho.}

There really was no other option:  we were going to have to get the tire fixed.  Now.  One last trip up to the apartment for the carseat, and we were off.  An hour later, the tire was fixed.

It was now after 1PM.  Determined to make something good out of this day, instead of going home for naps (like a sane person), I dragged the kiddos to the running store to purchase some actual running shoes.  The salesman informed me that first, he needed to "check out my gait", which involved me jogging slowly around the store in my bare feet.  With my too-short track pants flapping around my ankles.  And my pooch bouncing. BOOM-BA-BA-BOOM with each step as my milk-filled boobs swayed from side-to-side.  Again, H-O-T.

After the shoe purchase, R was starving, so we ended up at the nice Whole Foods in Cherry Creek, where most other customers (both the Jimmy Choo/Armani-clad business types and the moms in their $300 technical jackets) avoided eye contact with me.  I wonder why?  Sweaty, poochy, too-short crazy-pants lady with no makeup.  Raines, realizing that he was this close to squirming his way out of a nap situation entirely, informed me that he wasn't ready to go home.

Staredown.

"Really?" I asked.  "Cause there is one other place Mum could go…….but it won't be any fun for you.  You'll have to sit still.  And be quiet."

He agreed.  We shook hands.  And went straight to Lululemon.

They had toys.  Toys!!  They had nice salesgirls that didn't stare (for long) at my poochy stomach and crazy pants.  They had other nice salesgirls that held Pax while I tried stuff on.  And even more salesgirls that ran around the store pulling pants that were high enough to support my c-section scar and help control the pooch.  Pants that didn't flap around my ankles when running (with free alterations to boot).  And a tank that, thanks to a slight bubble hem, helped to hide the stomach pooch and back-fat.  And cool shorts!! Short enough to make me feel young and sexy, but just long enough to hide the doughiest part of the thigh.

By the time we made it back, Mike had just returned from work.  "Whoa" he said when I walked in, re-clad in crazy-pants and too-tight-tee.  "Wow Babe.  I've never seen you looking…ummmm…like that" he finished lamely. 

Thankfully, never again.  Or, as R would say:  NEVER EVER.

Here's my happily ever after shot:

IMG_1779

 Wearing: Lululemon's Speed Short, and Get Focused tank.  Also bought the super-flattering Pure Strength pant in gray.

Hey Lululemon!!  If you are reading, we need more pooch-flattering tops!  Cause none of us want to see that pooch bouncin' around (it's bad enough we have to feel it).  Specifically, the very fabulous, pooch-hiding No Limit tank…hint hint.

xo,

S

ps.  How funny that Lane and I are both trying to figure out how to work in a workout?  Sheesh.

14 Comments
  • Ace
    April 6, 2011

    Funny because I am so that pajama wearing mom at the fancy grocery store, however when I work out it is all lulu all the time. I have a couple of great lulu pooch hiding tops. I got them off eBay, they were supposed to be maternity, and I did wear them pregnant, but they are flattering 6 months post partum.
    Beautiful happily ever after shot.

  • cindy
    April 7, 2011

    oh lordy your post makes me feel so much better about myself. we live in a condo too where our jog stroller has a flat and me and our 22mo have to go up and down up and down ALL.DANG.DAY! thanks for getting me out of my feeling sorry for myself mode and realizing i’m not alone.

  • Kim
    April 7, 2011

    I am CRYING i am laughing so hard….you made me feel so much better:)!!!! (sorry it was at your expense- but you did end at lulu….)

  • Mercedes
    April 7, 2011

    TERRIFIC INSTALLMENT!!!
    Thank you for letting me know that even you, with your amazing wardrobe etc, have days when you too look like hell. Makes me feel SO much better.

  • Elizabeth
    April 7, 2011

    Oh man…perfect. It’s like you’re in my head, minus the Lululemon but including the naked son. *sigh*

  • Arlington Mama
    April 7, 2011

    Oh goodness, thank for the laugh this morning!! This has been me more times than I’d like to admit. HATE the bouncy pooch, but glad I’m not the only one. ;) You’re hilarious!

  • Maggie Grayson
    April 7, 2011

    Love the post! Need help squeezing in a workout? I couldn’t do it without Stroller Strides! Changed my life! Check it out :)

  • Desi
    April 7, 2011

    I’m glad that you found something to combat the post baby bosy and feel great in your workout clothes. It’s amazing how much more I feel like working out.

  • Desi
    April 7, 2011

    body not bosy…. princess hairstyling distracted me from proof reading.

  • Lisa
    April 7, 2011

    Ahh, just wanted to commiserate with you on your day! I have so been there. Congrats on finding some adorable (and useful) stuff at Lululemon.

  • Bambi
    April 7, 2011

    You need to run your H-O-T (and hilarious) self over to the nearest Lucy store. They have the most wonderful pooch hiding tanks for running or yoga or dancing around half naked in your living room.

  • nell
    April 7, 2011

    Lulu helped pick me up from a much needed postpartum funk as well. My MIL dragged me to Lulu (probably sick of seeing my tired sweats) while I’m whining like a toddler about it probably not fitting the way it used to. 10 minutes later I”m dancing around the store feeling great. Yes, Lulu make some more Mom friendly tops!! (And if you REALLY want to impress me, make your stuff in Canada again, too)

  • Maman A Droit
    April 7, 2011

    That no limit tank is amazing! I wish they would send you one plus one to give away to a reader. And then you could “randomly” select me as the winner.
    Lol. A girl can dream right?

  • Christine
    April 8, 2011

    I’m cracking up! And looking over at my post-partum Tracy Anderson DVD feeling very guilty for having a 10 week old and a dvd that I haven’t even opened.

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