Weekend 2.17

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I can’t thank you guys enough for all of the loving comments, DMs and emails we’ve received since my Dad’s sudden passing, almost three weeks ago.  Mom, Scotti and I are doing….OK.  Just OK.  And some days it feels like we’re barely hanging on.  But even on those days there are moments of pure, genuine joy which I find both confusing and reassuring in a “this is life” sort of way.  I suspect I’ll be stuck here, in this place, at least for a while.  I can’t quite move past my mom’s poignant comment, “we would’ve had so much fun growing old together.”  And that’s the truth.  Dad was fun, and they were the best of friends.  My parent’s love story was truly an epic one, a story that was cut far too short.  But how lucky they were to have had such a love story at all.

My sister and I have been blown away, since his funeral, by the number of people who approached us to let us know that they were inspired by his funeral to do more.  To be more involved, to lift up more people, to make a difference.  And that is the most amazing legacy he could ever hope to ask for.  So thank you, those that have shared stories and inspiration with us.  There’s something so terrible and lonely and overwhelming about grief.  Hearing how he is remembered, helps.

If you guys will indulge me for a sec, I wanted to share a little bit of my Dad.  My sister’s friend is a teacher at a local high school.  Her principal has had some framed words on her desk, talking about school climate, for years.  After Dad’s passing, we learned that those words were actually from a speech Dad gave to the teachers and staff some years ago (my Dad was a public school administrator, and known as a damn good one).  In this age of so many challenges with public education, I found his words heartening, and thought I’d share:

“What makes a good school has very little to do with how rich or poor the students are, or the type of curriculum that’s taught.  It has very little to do with special programs, expansive playing fields, huge endowments, snappy uniforms, celebrity alumni, or whether the school is wired to the Internet.

What makes a good school….is the feeling.  A feeling shared by the entire staff that their particular school is special.  The feeling that their school really belongs to them….This feeling of ownership, essential to all good schools, can’t be packaged or stripped….it forms itself only when a particular school or community is given the freedom and authority to try what it’s members believe is best for their students.”

Thanks, Dad.

We just needed a distraction.  Mom and I did an at-home spa night last week, in an attempt to do something “fun.”  We half-heartedly sprayed this Juice Beauty exfoliating spray onto our faces, only to be blown away by how many dead skin cells rubbed off.  It has the same satisfaction factor as those Biore nose strips, but for your whole face (yet is suuuuper gentle).  We’re now both obsessed with the glowy skin it leaves and use it several times per week.  (We followed the spray up with this anti-wrinkle replenishing mask – it was perfect for dry winter air.)

Dad may have been right about this one.  Dad was Canadian, and always had a penchant for Canadian brands.  He may have been right about Lole, maker of some of my very favorite winter coats.  They just released an ultra-lightweight packable down jacket….with seriously cool 70’s stripes.  Love it.

Copycat.  My favorite sexy cami (by Cami NYC) – worn here, if interested – has a doppelganger.  Wayf just came out with this cami, and it’s virtually the same, for a fraction of the cost.

Varsity stripes?  I love a good arm-striped tee (my name for it) and am trying to decide between v-neck vs. crew-neck.  Hmmm…..

For your little OlympianSpyder is having its President’s Day Sale, which means deep discounts on my very favorite ski gear.  This is when I stock up for next year cause those kids don’t stop growing.

Admittedly, I am Olympics OBSESSED.  Am loving the New Yorker’s article about Mikaela Shiffrin….it illuminates exactly why she’s the best skier in the world.  (Hint:  girl works HARD.)

I mean….they’re cute, I guess.  If you’ve been wondering why the winning athletes have been getting stuffed tigers instead of medals….this explains it.

It’s February, so…. Know what happens every February, like clockwork?  People start leaving mean-spirited comments on the blog.  Normally when folks tell me that my outfit makes me look “homeless” or that I need to get a “real job” (I work 60 hrs a week at this one, thanks), I just roll my eyes and move on, but this year, for good freaking reason, I’m feeling reallllly low already.  So just….ya know…DIAL IT DOWN.  Geez.  Is it March yet?  Feb makes us all a little crazy.

I’d like to be her someday.  I love Runner’s World’s profile of this 101-year old runner, who has been training for the 100-yard dash.  I always get so inspired by the Olympics, and this woman just felt like a kindred spirit.  To me, she represents hope.



ps.  I’ve been loving all of the reader inspiration in our #TMEStyleChallenges.  So freaking good.

pps.  Newsletter picks this week are our favorite family board games.  There’s some good (and hysterical) finds.  You can subscribe here.



About Author

Shana founded The Mom Edit in 2008. She lives with the love of her life (his name's Mike) and their two crazy boys in downtown Philadelphia. She loves a good styling challenge (her engineering side shows eventually), appreciates kindness, and usually picks scotch over wine, sneakers over stilettos, and denim-underwear, always.

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  1. Morgan Celinski on

    Shana, I read TME every day and just wanted to say It’s wonderful to hear your voice again, as you have been in my thoughts daily. Your blog brings me so much joy (I laughed hysterically at your magnetic eyelash kerfuffle with Scotti). You are a true gem, and anyone who can’t tell that you spend an immense amount of time on making this such a great site is a moron. (And if it helps, I work in the service industry and have created a google reminder that says: “Beware! People are assholes beginning Feb. 15 and ending around March 15.” So it’s definitely not limited to you!) Thanks for putting yourself out there so that us forty-something sisters can feel just a little bit cooler as the full catastrophe of life keeps coming our way. XO

    • Elizabeth Rafter on

      This is perfectly said! This blog totally helps my forty-something self feel a little bit cooler when I leave my house! So thank you for that. And I too have been thinking of you guys. I wish I had some inspirational, wonderful words for you about dealing with the loss of your father, but I don’t. It’s just something you have to get through each day. And you will. And some days will really really suck and others won’t. Yesterday was my dad’s birthday and it was the second one we had to face without him here. Yesterday was one of the days that suck. Hopefully, today will be better. Good Thoughts to you and your family!!! Hang in there. And glad to have you back!

  2. I was so sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost my dad suddenly in 2013…feels like a week ago sometimes. It’s like losing an arm or something…it hurts and it will always be different, wrong feeling. Slowly, you get use to the feeling and the hurt isn’t so close to the surface. I miss my dad every day. I dream about him often and that brings me comfort. I hope you see your dad in your dreams. <3

  3. I have thought about you lots since the loss of your father. I have noticed your absence here and missed hearing from you. Winters are long and they make me cranky too, but I am sorry others are taking it out on TME. I had no idea. And why? I don’t get it…..

  4. So sorry for your loss. Sounds like your dad was an amazing guy. I haven’t yet had to deal with the loss of a parent so I can’t imagine how hard and how strange that must be. My heart goes out to you. It’s good to read your words, and hopefully the blog can be a source of purpose and distraction for you. (And so sorry the haters come out in February- I had no idea. Ugh.)

  5. Like other people have commented, I too read TME everyday. I think you guys are amazing. And you do NOT look homeless, ha ha. Please know that for every hater out there, a bunch of peeps are fans! I’m so sorry to hear about your dad’s passing. Praying for your family.

  6. Love ya, girl, and glad to hear from you again. Your dad’s thoughts on school are so accurate (and made me cry). My daughter switched grade schools this past year, but my son is still in our original school. We have such an amazing sense of community and ownership with our original school that we just never got with the new school. Even my daughter notices the difference. So thank you for sharing. He sounds like he was very wise and a great man.

  7. batsinthebelfry on

    I’m really sorry about your dad, and I’m really sorry that people feel the need to be douchebags. Hang in there.

  8. Shana, you are a wonderful and inspiring person. It now makes sense understanding the wonderful parents you come from. Let that be a source of comfort to you that you will forever carry on your Dad’s legacy just by being you. I’m positive (being a parent) that if your Dad had one wish in all the world, it would be that he raised children who would make a positive impact on the world and that his children would be kind, humble, thoughtful and generous. You are all of those things. So, carry on knowing that your Dad is looking down on you smiling and grateful that the one thing he wished for was granted. Carry him in your heart and turn to him in those low times – I promise you he will be there, just in a different way.

    For the mean-spirited…well…they are just that….and I’ve never seen a prettier homeless person in all my life 🙂 for the record….Don’t let them get you down cause really, their fundamental flaws are issues they must address, we can’t fix them! Anyone who can be mean or heartless doesn’t deserve internet access, haha.

  9. Barbara Colasante on

    I’m sorry for your loss. There is nothing to say except that losing a parent SUCKS! As for the haters, let them hate because you and your team are inspirational and real Take care of yourself and your handsome men!

  10. I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad. He sounds like a wonderful human being. How lucky you and your siblings were to call him “Dad”. Shortly before my grandmother died, she said “I feel so loved”. It was a comfort to my mom that her mom went out with love. Your dad went out knowing he was very well loved too. I hope that is a comfort to you as well.

    On a lighter note, I’d never heard of the PureWon site before and that was a fun little rabbit hold to fall down. And the 101 year old runner? I’m so inspired! Thanks for the light-hearted distraction.

    Carry on Shana, you got this.

  11. Sending extra love your way for February.
    So sorry about your Dad’s passing. Thank you for sharing his school “feeling” quote. Having gone through some big school changes due to moving overseas, that really articulated some of the things we experienced.

  12. HI Shanna, Love you and your team! But on this post I can not get the links to the face mask and spray to work? Sephora says “product not carried”?? I’ll try and look up the spray but if you can get paid for me buying it from the link I’d rather do it that way! Sending lots of love to you all during February!

  13. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved father. Our parents are the only people in the world who truly love us unconditionally. The death of a parent like a pillar of your life has been knocked out, and you need to figure out how to find the balance again. May you and your family find some peace at this difficult time. And please do not let the internet trolls shake you up one bit. Whenever I read cruel reviews about my business on line I think, “it must be tough going through life being that angry all the time.” The hate they give is the poison they drink. Please keep up the outstanding work and I look forward to reading your posts every day. P.S. Without you I would not own hot pink velvet pants or white boots. 😉

  14. Judith Andersen on

    I am so sorry, Shana. You and your mother are both so lucky to have had him in your lives. He will still live, in your hearts.

  15. I‘ll just echo what others have said. I read this blog every day. All the contributors are cool and seem like genuinely nice people (you‘re my fav though). This blog gives me a little bit of happiness through feeling good about myself – and making people happy is more than most jobs can claim.

    My condolences on the loss of your Dad. It certainly sounds like he was an amazing person.

  16. Shana I love your blog! That piece your dad wrote about what makes a great school is beautiful! So sorry about your loss. I can’t believe February is troll month that’s so weird! I am a huge fan you and your team inspire me. Keep up the good work! Xo

  17. Shana-I’m obsessed with your blog!!! So glad to hear you’re back, and healing, albeit slowly. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things that anyone can go through; I lost my mom, my “Bunny” 2 1/2 years ago and it nearly broke me. Take time to grieve, to remember all the wonderful memories you have, hug your mom and know that your fans here love you and Scottie!! As for mean spirited comments, screw the haters! Know that we love you guys!!

  18. Thank you so much for sharing your Dad’s quote. My daughter is in her first year at a brand new Charter School started and run by three teachers who wanted to run their own school their own way. This quote absolutely embodies what makes our school so amazing in a way I’ve never been able to articulate. I’ll definitely pass this along to them! Your Dad must must have been an amazing man – my love and sympathy to you and your family.

  19. Poignant words from your Dad. I didn’t realize the February mean comments was a thing so I just wanted to say Thank You!! Thanks for being inspiring. Thanks for putting yourself out there. And thanks for the great content!!

  20. Shana,

    Thank you so much for your words about your dad. I lost my mom suddenly 10 days ago and went from feeling grounded in my life to feeling like any moment I might fly away. It’s an awful feeling to lose someone you love. Your description of life continuing to be confusing and reassuring was spot on. I look at my boys and feel connected to them during this time where I feel such upheaval. I also thank you for this blog! I literally got on it today needing a little distraction and happiness to pass the wave of sadness that had started to creep in. It’s a normalizing feeling to know that there are others who can empathize with the depths of your pain. Thank you for all you do!

  21. As someone who works in a law office, is unmarried, and has no children, you might think that I would find no inspiration on this, technically, ‘mom blog.’ However – I have followed you for years, since ANMJ (at a time when I was in my early twenties!) and have always loved your fresh, fun, uplifting voice and your whimsical and inspirational style. You work hard, you look amazing, and you have been kind enough to let your readers in on your journey. Thank you for all that you do. I lost my grandma and my doggie this week, and the grieving process is always a rollercoaster – with so much love and gratefulness sprinkled in between moments where the grief threatens to overwhelm. I have always turned to this story in times of sadness:


    Hopefully, we will learn to appreciate and love our waves. All my love to you and yours.

  22. Aw, thanks for sharing a little bit of your dad. He sounds like a genuinely good guy. Hooray for Yoopers, Canadians, and darn good public school administrators! May your happy memories sustain you in these difficult days.

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