Weekend 6.22

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What a freaking week.  We’re back at the shore this weekend (safely back in our little bubble of privilege, says the cynical voice inside my head), and I see that it’s supposed to rain all weekend.  Somehow, I find this comforting. Which is both irrelevant and stupid – whether or not it rains on my weekend parade does absolutely nothing to even begin to write the wrongs we’ve watched unfold.  I did call my congressmen, donated to RAICES, and yet, as I type this, there are still two thousand kids crying for their parents.

I know, I know, it’s not new.  And that’s part of the problem, I suppose.  I’m a pretty well-educated, empathic, caring kind of girl.  And yet I find myself surprised by this turn of events.  Not just by this administration, but I’m surprised at how much my own worldview is changing. I’m surprised by the rosy lens through which I viewed our country for so long.  And, if I’m being completely honest here, I’m embarassed.  Ultimately I’m embarassed by my own surprise.  Because it shows – exactly – how little I knew.  It shows my own ignorance. And ugh.  That’s such an ugly word.

I keep going back to this Instagram post from @undocumedia.  It says, “please stop saying things like ‘this is not the America I know!’ when you see Trump locking refugees in cages.  Yes it is.  Trail of Tears, slavery, Chinese Exclusion Acts, Japanese internment, segregation.  Welcome to the America that non-white people have known for centuries.”

Awful, isn’t it?  Both our history and my own willingness to see past it…without properly acknowledging it. I remember getting into an arguement several years ago with my brother and his wife (both Canadians) about how America WAS the greatest country in the world.  It was obvious, right?  That we were?  We’re so powerful, we have so many freedoms, we’re always trying to do the right thing…and maybe, well, maybe sometimes we slip up, but really….we’re still the best.  EVERYBODY thinks so, yeah?  No.  No they did not.  They did not agree at all, and I remember being flummoxed by the whole conversation.  Ultimately this discussion is not about America the brave and the beautiful (and we are both of those things), it’s really about an America who accurately remembers.  And, at a minimum, doesn’t repeat our past mistakes.

So we’re going to be talking more, from time-to-time, about these issues here on TME.  We have an interview with an immigration lawyer coming out soon (this topic is so complex, and we just had so many questions we were struggling to find answers to), as well as some advice on how to talk to your kids about what has been happening at the border.  Personally, I’ve been on a mission this last year to try and diversity our own personal library – reading books is the quickest way to bridge any gaps between people, I think – and having books about all different sorts of life experiences is more important than ever.  I’m happy to start sharing our finds, but I’d love to hear what your favorites are, too.

Alright.  That’s where my head has been all week.  Now, if you’ve called your congressmen, and donated to RAICES (if you can) and just need a few minutes of light distraction….here’s what else I’ve got for you this weekend.

I mean…approximately like thatMe, determinedly heading to the bookstore for multi-cultural children’s books.

YOU’RE WELCOME.  Icelandic soccer player Rurik Gislason played in the world cup for 30 min last Saturday and his IG followers went up 330K (and still rising).  Why?  To quote Sportsbible, “Imagine being so bloody good looking that your follower count goes from 30,000 to 362,000 after playing just half an hour of football at the World Cup.  Even my girlfriend dropped the bloke a follow, for god sake.”  Oh ha-ay…..

Good.  Die mad about it. I’m obsessed with @meghantonjes and her hysterical, badass,and very real IG post about wearing a bikini even though she’s plus-sized.  For some reason, she gets a ton of hate for her self-love post.  “I’m gonna be sitting out on the beach…getting a real tan, feeling real good and feeling the breeze…because life is too short to not.”  Hells yeah.

Blame it on Juicy Tracksuits of yesteryear.  In times of crisis, some people turn to comfort food, I, however, turn to comfort clothes.  Inexplicably that has meant shopping for…sweatsuits?  I can’t explain it either.  Why must it match?  No clue, but it must.  I’m currently wearing this one (with matching shorts)….and am also loving this one (with matching shorts).  Actually, Bloomindales has a ton of sweatsuits on sale…so I added my favs to TME’s Weekly Sale Report if you’d like to check that out.

Solid upgrades.  Remember my Rebecca Minkoff sandals from a few years ago?  (See them in action, here.)  They’re back, with a few upgrades:  the leather is softer, the footbed more padded.  I bought them in tan this go-around, and LOVE them.  They’re available at Amazon and Nordstrom.

Un-boring basic tanks?  I’ve been hunting for not-boring basic white tank tops…and I found a few good ones.  My favs are this slashed/twisted muscle tee…or this ruffled one (opposites, I know). Is this worth a round-up?  Anyone else on the hunt?

The most gorgeous dress I own right now. I stopped by local designer Amy Voloshin’s studio yesterday…and walked out with this dress.  I don’t want to overstate things, but it may be the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever put on my body.  Packing for the shore? Done.  Packing for Berlin?  Done.  Packing for the rest of my life? Done.  Pics coming soon, but it’s SO freaking good I had to share immediately.

I’m packing this $9 gadget on all trips.  I’m totally intrigued by The Kitchn’s list of kitchen items to make any Air-bnb stay (or even hotel room stay) better.

Food porn for salad lovers.  All I want for the rest of the summer is eat off this list of 67 Summer Salad Recipes (with the season’s best ingredients) from Bon Appetit.  Balances out my seasonal ice-cream dependancy nicely, I think.

What’s in the newsletter this week?  Last week it was pretty white tops (this one caught my eye) and this week? (Stylish) rash guards. We had to do some serious digging here but I think you’ll like what we came up with. You can sign up for our newsletter here.

Lastly, I can’t not talk about the jacket.  While I’d love to give Melania the benefit of the doubt (maybe she did just grab a random jacket?)….it doesn’t hold up against anything we’ve seen from her before.  I’m afraid @feministabulous may be right: “Please don’t be fooled. This is 100% bait. It’s an effective strategy to get the media to criticize her wardrobe so that the government can criticize the media for criticizing her wardrobe and delegitimize us as fake news….don’t underestimate this regime. Calling this administration dumb is dumb. We made that mistake in 2016. Let’s not make that mistake again.”  And now, reading Trump’s actual comment on the jacket…..food for thought, for sure.

Happy weekend, everyone.

xo,

S

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About Author

Shana founded The Mom Edit in 2008. She lives with the love of her life (his name's Mike) and their two crazy boys in downtown Philadelphia. She loves a good styling challenge (her engineering side shows eventually), appreciates kindness, and usually picks scotch over wine, sneakers over stilettos, and denim-underwear, always.

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19 Comments

  1. I was at bootcamp this morning and shared that I was filled with nothing but anxiety over this week’s events (and frankly, the last 1 1/2 yr). A woman in the class said, “Just stop paying attention. You’re silly if you think this hasn’t been happening for years. Just ignore it. Seriously, forget about it.”

    I didn’t say a word. It both angered me and depressed me even more.

    Kudos on this post. I appreciate that you’re putting yourself out there (I imagine not everyone will agree with you).

    And yes, feministafabulous got it right. It’s all bait.

    Pass the vodka please.

  2. Brava Shana!! Your second and third paragraph: I give you enormous props for you honesty. It’s a huge thing when a white American sees beyond our sweet little bubble and gets a glimpse of the world through another’s eyes. It IS embarrassing. I’m embarrassed too. Now we get to listen. We MUST listen as much as we can to the non-white voices, especially the voices with very little power. And do everything we can to fight alongside them.

    I think often of the saying “babies be babies”. Well, “Trumps be Trumps”. They aren’t going to change, we know exactly how they are going to behave. What is most disheartening is all the people who support him and are gleefully lapping up all of the racism and evil. They are on the wrong side of history, which is little comfort when considering all the suffering we’ve contributed too.

  3. Thanks for continuing to speak up on these important topics, in addition to the fashion fun. I definitely feel the same in terms of becoming a lot more aware of the degree of disparity in our country in the past few years (and also more aware of what a significant fraction of our country really is just still flat out racist, not just the vocal ones but all the others who are willing to tolerate unfair treatment when it’s to non-white people).

    I have been really disappointed to see some other blogs not saying a word, I understand wanting your blog to serve as a fun/frivolous distraction (and in some cases (not a vialid excuse!), I guess not wanting to alienate some of your audience when your income depends on them) … but with everything happening now and the current climate I feel like it’s just not acceptable to stay silent when you have a large platform & audience. So thank you!

  4. Brava. “…it’s really about an America who accurately remembers. ” Indeed. I am all for injecting reality into the overall conversation – it’s not fair of us readers to expect you to say nothing in the current environment. This is a Moms blog, and what is happening affects us all, especially our kids. Thanks for speaking your mind and doing it respectfully. Hopefully even those who don’t share your views (I share them, for the record) respect that.

    And thank you sweet mother of mercy for introducing me to Mr. Gíslason. I was like Carrie Bradshaw meeting those Manolos. HELLO LOVER.

    And curse you for introducing me to that Voloshin wrap dress. Carrie again. HELLO LOVER.

  5. I loved your posts earlier this week, and appreciated all the tips on ways to actually do something. I spent half my life before 18 living overseas thanks to my dad’s military career, and have raised my kids overseas as well. Some of the things we’ve been exposed to through our experiences have certainly given me an appreciation for why people could be desperate enough to try almost anything to get somewhere they feel they can raise their kids in safety.

    If you’re still looking for good recommendations on multicultural books for kids, I highly recommend “The Other Side of Truth” by Beverly Naidoo (about Nigerian political refugees in the UK, kids who are sent ahead without their father and get ditched by their facilitator at the border), “Shadow” (Afghan political refugees in the UK), and my favorite read-aloud of this past year “The Breadwinner” (Afghans under Taliban rule, recently made into a beautiful animated movie as well). The first two deal with the immigrant experience, the third one doesn’t but it’s a beautiful account of the sort of situations that have lead so many to attempt to emigrate. These are all probably around a 4th grade reading level maybe? I read them aloud to my boys (ages 3, 6, 8, and 10) within the last year, but you may want to pre-read as there are some bits that may be difficult for the kids to handle. I also bought “Dear World: A Syrian Girl’s Story of War and Plea for Peace” by Bana Alabed, but haven’t read it yet.

    I don’t know if your boys still do picture books but if they do, we also loved “Lost and Found Cat: The True Story of Kunkush’s Incredible Journey,” by Doug Kuntz and Amy Shrodes (based on a true story, related to Syrian refugees in Europe) and “Stepping Stones: A Refugee Family’s Journey” by Margriet Ruurs.

  6. Are you coming to Berlin?! I’ve lived here with my Husband and 3 kids for the last 1.5 years, and we love it. Seriously most kid friendly city ever! Hit me up for restaurant tips/babysitter recs/playground recs/etc!

    Tschüssi!

  7. I am really looking forward to the interview with the immigration lawyer! Thank you, thank you, thank you a thousand times for taking these things seriously and using your platform for information and action. I of course read your blog for the soulful posts about family and life and the fun posts about fashion, but I really appreciate that you use it other ways, too.

  8. Hi! Have you tried the book
    Give Your Child the World: Raising Globally Minded Kids One Book at a Time by Jamie C. Martin? It’s a great resource for finding multicultural stories. The book is a list of reccomendations and a short synopsis of each. It is divided by global region and age group. Just about every book we’ve gotten from her recommendations has been a hit with the adults and kids in the house!

  9. Thank you for this! I found your blog almost 8 or 9 (??) years ago when I was looking for something to help me through the early days with my baby boy. It was fun and relatable for me and gave me something besides parenting and baby blogs to read.

    THIS. This is what I am talking about these days. I love my kids and fashion, but I worry now in ways I never did before and I appreciate your addressing it. Thank you!

  10. Thank you for mixing up the fashion/lifestyle fun with more serious topics. I’ve been reading TME since it was Ain’t No Mom Jeans and this just makes me love your site/want to buy clothes through it even more. I’d like to recommend the podcast Pantsuit Politics for anyone looking for nuanced, respectful discussions of current events and other issues. It’s hosted by two women, one from the left and one from the right, and I learn so much from it.

  11. Shana – Thank you so much for talking about this and being open and honest about learning about yourself. We all need to learn more right now, and this is an inspiration. I’m grateful for every new voice speaking out against these atrocities.

  12. I’ve been following TME since before it was TME and I always find it incredibly refreshing to follow its evolution while it stays so open, vulnerable, and always so relatable. It feels like spending time with friends who have the best advice in so many different areas, but are also bravely able to tackle some hard issues: Cam’s post on anxiety, Julieta’s post on accepting her postpartum body, and Shana’s introspective posts like this one all come to mind.
    I had actually just read this piece (https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/aug/08/unlearning-the-myth-of-american-innocence) on unlearning the myth of American innocence shortly before reading this post, and found that the two complemented each other interestingly – it seems like a similar sort of shift in awareness, with a raw vulnerability tied to piecing an identity back together from the outside in. This kind of discussion is really eye-opening for me as a Canadian, and really touching to me as a fellow mom – I’ve been struggling with how to sort my feelings about this most recent news and there was just something so grounding about reading your thoughts. I’m very much looking forward to the interview with the immigration lawyer!
    Kudos to you all for always keeping it real and powerfully relevant!

  13. I have to confess that I, as an avid comment reader, was a bit afraid to load up the comments on this post because, as I have seen in the past, some readers prefer for you to keep this blog nice and light with fashion and fun and have told you in a less than kind way. BUT wow, the comments I have read so far, reflected by your insightful post, are..just wow. You have some really cool readers. Thanks for the inspiration and the tears and sweat you put into this blog.

  14. Why no plus sized contributors to TME? Or even plus size takes on the trends you cover? Y’all are beautifully diverse in some ways, but size isn’t one of them since I can’t believe any of you is bigger than a size 8.

    And feministabulous is dead on. Whatever one thinks of Trump, no one is that successful if they are stupid or unaware of how to work the media.

  15. Thank you for your weekend posts! They are such a good mix of thoughtful insight and fun musings. And the comments on this weekend’s post are wonderful as well. So often your weekend posts send me down a rabbit hole. This week’s rabbit holes? Tracks suits and Give Your Child the World (thanks to a commenter’s tip) – good thing I charged my iPad last night, I might be here for a while.

  16. I really appreciate this blog and wanted to voice my approval that you’re tackling difficult topics and taking a stand. In my opinion it doesn’t take a lot to BE on the right side of this thing, but it does take some bravery to talk about it on a forum like this where plenty of people may feel like it’s “not the venue.” I’m heartened to see so many supportive comments here from the community!

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