I want to provide a fun, child-friendly atmosphere for my kids, but I loathe, loathe, loaaathe most children’s furniture, design motifs and color schemes. For the most part, they’re just so bizarrely saccharine that they seem intentionally designed to assault adult sensibilities.
For some kids, teething is no biggie. “I never noticed my babies getting teeth,” many a mama has told me, as I melted her with my laser-like glare. For others, teething is a personality-altering event of head-spinning, Exorcist-esque proportions. That would be my children.
The easiest thing to do with a sick, fussy toddler, of course, is to pop him on the couch and let him veg out in front of the TV. That’s what I feel like doing when I’ve been barfing my brains out. But when my two-year-old, who never saw an operational television until he was over a year old, started talking about the Wonder Pets like they were friends of his a couple of weeks ago, I realized it was [way past] time to put the breaks on the boob tube consumption.
My attempt at green parenting has been a precipitously slippery slope. I started out with cloth diapers, a natural rubber mattress, all organic clothing, homemade organic baby food and exclusively non-plastic toys. But what I’ve ended up with is 7th Generation disposables/part-time (like, when the mood strikes me) cloth diapering, a mix of pricey organic cotton and $2.97 Target specials (made, probably, by kids only slightly older than mine), frozen “all natural” chicken tenders & Whole Market taquitos, and more plastic toys than I can shake a stick at. So much for my lofty green ideals. . .
Ten minutes is a precious commodity in the life of a new parent. Think of all the things you can do in that very short period of time: shower (!), check your email, pay your bills online, empty the dishwasher, call your best friend, clear the drain of all that hair you’re shedding, paint your toenails, savor a cup of coffee or tea . . . But where on EARTH will you find ten minutes for all of these gloriously luxuriant activities I speak of, you ask?
With our firstborn, we hemorrhaged money as we sought out the “best” and most complicated baby accoutrement available. Being inexperienced with kids in general, I was totally unaware that, given a choice between a piece of Tupperware and a lights and bells-make-your-baby-brilliant-machine, most babes would happily have the Tupperware any day of the week.
One of my pet peeves as a mom is that every company designing items for baby seems to think that babies require bright colors, happy faces,…