Chemo Beanies, Hockey and Half. Way. Done.



[wearing: Vince henley – similar….Rag and Bone skinnies….tieks flatsbag]

Well.  Chemo #2 is over and done and recovered from.  Mostly.  I'm fine, just exhausted.  It's crazy how tired I get doing….well…anything, really.  But I'm happy to report that round two was better than round one.  Reducing the pre-chemo steroids was sanity-saving.  And with two boys under six, any remaining shard of sanity must be preserved.  

I think I'm down to half a shard.

But this whole process has been so interesting, if I can manage to step outside myself for a minute.  I'm learning so much.  Some of it is obvious.  Like, for example, I look better with hair.  I always knew, deep down, that hair suited me, but I had never really tested the theory, you know?  And now I have.  Check the box:  Hair – Good.

In absence of hair, I've been going all sorts of crazy trying to figure something else out.  So I have also learned that if there is any warmth in the air AT ALL, like if the sun is visible, wigs will be hot.  Hot enough, in fact, to threaten my remaining half-shard of sanity.  Thus, my original plan of walking around the house wig-clad (just for personal vanity reasons) is shot all to hell.  

One option that's been working OK are these little Chemo Beanies.  


You may also recall the gray one I wore here.  

I mean…OK.  This isn't exactly high-fashion, but I like the extra little ruffle at the back and on top…it makes me feel less like a billiard ball.  And since I'm such a trendy breast cancer patient #breastcancerchic – can we make this one happen?….I just bought another one in oxblood.  (They call it plum, but I'm sticking with 5th Ave on this one. #breastcancerchic #yeswecan) 

But all fooling aside…there is one aspect of this cancer thing that really blows my mind:  LOVE

And OMG I know that's so cheesy, and I deleted the all-caps "LOVE"  several times and tried to find another word…but love, that's what it is.  Whether it's the amazing comments from you guys, or the dozens of cards from my mom's PEO sisters (some of whom I've never met), or my own amazing, in-person friends and family who call, text, send, show up and take it when I'm down…I've never felt so supported in my whole life.  And then this happened:

Screen Shot 2013-10-09 at 1.28.20 PM

Legion Hockey, in my little hometown of Marquette, MI played a game with pink-taped hockey sticks.  Then after the game, they got together and took this picture.  If you look closely at the pink sign, they used my #takethatbreastcancer hashtag.  

The idea?  Was Ethan's.  The little cutie whose face is right over the "S"?  Yeah, him.  And his team was happy to play along.  Rockstars, all of them.

If this doesn't restore faith in 'kids of today' I don't know what does.  

As my head was exploding with adorable-overload and love and support, a "sunshine package" came from a few of my favorite Denver Mamas.  

Well.  I sat right down and had myself an ugly cry.  It felt good.