Let’s Practice Sexy Self-Care


YOU deserve to have an orgasm. Multiple, ideally.

Aside from the immediate pleasure (obvi), there are a ton of physical and mental health benefits that come with them (🤣). Orgasms trigger the release of endorphins — the “feel good” hormones — which reduce stress and help to relax the mind and body. They also act as natural painkillers, helping to alleviate headaches and menstrual cramps (and other types of pain). The release of oxytocin and prolactin during orgasm can also contribute to a sense of relaxation and drowsiness and aid in better sleep quality overall.

And beyond stress relief and relaxation, orgasms can elevate mood, combat feelings of anxiety and depression, are associated with a stronger immune system, improve cardiovascular health, help foster a deeper connection between partners, contribute to healthier skin, improve self-esteem and body image, and may contribute to a more balanced hormonal profile in both men and women.

Whew. So…why are we not having sooo many orgasms — like, daily — with or without a partner, if they have so many health benefits?

I mean…most likely because we’re too busy taking care of everyone else, right? Doing all the things: the scheduling of the calendars, giving rides to practices/rehearsals/lessons, making breakfast/lunch/dinner, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, wiping the tears, lending an ear, reading the books, and…I’m exhausted already. Sexy time is like the last thing on my mind when I’m in the middle of Mom-ing.

But…we deserve better. We deserve to have orgasms, ladies. (Multiple, preferably.)

Not that this is all about orgasms, but after researching the myriad benefits of them, I find it incredible that as women and mothers we often don’t prioritize our own sexual/mental/physical/emotional health. But we should.

Treat Yourself With Sexy Self-Care

Self-care can come in so many different forms — it can be anything from lighting a candle or wearing PJs that feel great against your skin to relaxing in a bath with some luxurious bath oil or treating yourself to a massage. It can also be as simple as setting aside time to be intimate – with or without a partner. (No shame, ladies!) It’s prioritizing your own sexual/physical/mental health needs – or at least making them as important as everyone else’s needs we’re constantly taking care of.

So whether you’re struggling with feeling sexy (trust us, we’ve been there), having a hard time relaxing, dealing with pelvic floor issues (due to childbirth or menopause issues), looking for ways to spice up your sex life, or just need a little you time, we’ve got you covered. And whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day alone or with a partner, I hope you get that O.

sexy self-care, 15+ favorite finds

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1. Lace Underwire Teddy

lace underwire teddy bodysuit lingerie


Simple, classic, and gorgeous. Wear underneath a cardigan or silky top for a sexy peekaboo vibe or, of course, as lingerie – one reviewer wore it as a top in Vegas! (And at around $40, the price is perfect too.)

2. Fur Skincare KP Body Scrub

fur skincare exfoliating body scrub

Body Scrub

You know those little bumps on skin (keratosis pilaris)? This stuff gets rid of them…as well as rough patches and bumps for totally smooth skin. It’s a dual-action chemical and physical body scrub that combines the benefits of microdermabrasion and chemical exfoliation for complete skin resurfacing. (Check out those amazing reviews!)

3. maude Shine Organic Personal Lubricant

maude shine personal lubricant, sexy self-care

Personal Lubricant

Reviewers love that this lube is made from 100% natural, organic ingredients and balances pH levels. Those with sensitive skin said they had zero issues with irritation and that it lasted a long time without getting sticky or gummy. (It’s also paraben-free, phthalate-free, sulfate-free, silicone-free, fragrance-free, gluten-free, and latex-friendly.)

4. fur Bath Drops

fur luxe oil bath drops

Bath Drops

Remember the bath beads from the ’90s? I used to love those – but unlike the gelatin casings from back then, these bath drops are encased with seaweed, a vegan and environmentally-friendly alternative. They contain Fur Skincare’s highly-rated signature Fur Oil and a blend of softening Clary Sage, Jojoba and Grapeseed Oils that leave skin feeling silky soft (without irritating sensitive areas).

5. maude Burn Massage Candle

maude massage candle

Massage Candle

This is one of the coolest and most unique products I came across while putting this post together. Light one of Maude’s massage candles, let it burn for 10-15 minutes, and use the melted oil to massage into skin. Because these candles are oil-based, they have a lower burning temperature…so it can be poured directly onto skin or applied with fingertips. They come in two different scents as well as an unscented version (try all three in this set).

6. The Killer (Boric Acid Suppositories)

boric acid supplements

The Killer

A number of TME editors swear by these! OB/GYN-developed, these boric acid suppositories help maintain healthy levels of Candida yeast in the vagina and support balanced vaginal pH levels and healthy vaginal flora (bacteria). Made with clean ingredients and without any artificial fragrances or dyes, these are perfect to use after being intimate, at the end of your period, or when you’re experiencing irritation from pH imbalance. (Yeast infections–gone.)

7. Joylux vFit Gold Pelvic Floor Red Light Therapy Device

pelvic floor red light therapy strengthening device

Red Light Therapy Device

I randomly came across this device on Nordstrom’s website and balked at the price…but then I read the reviews. Women are calling this life-changing as it’s helped with everything from incontinence after childbirth to intimacy issues during perimenopause/menopause. If you’re experiencing issues with your pelvic floor, this device is a game-changer. (Read the reviews!)

8. Champagne Flutes

champagne flutes

Champagne Flutes

My mom always ordered beer with a wine glass when she went to dinner. No matter what you’re drinking, a sexy glass always makes a difference.

9. Chocolate Covered Strawberries

chocolate covered strawberries


These dark chocolate covered strawberries have amazing reviews (and there are a ton of options to choose from if dark chocolate isn’t your thing). No Valentine’s Day should go without some sort of decadent treat like this.

10. Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask

laneige sleep mask

Lip Mask

This is technically called a sleeping mask, but I’ve been using mine all day every day. It’s the only thing that has kept my lips soft and hydrated this winter – better than any Chapstick or Blistex I’ve used. It comes in multiple colors and scents to choose from (my favorite is the purple gummy bear), and they JUST added a limited edition cotton candy flavor!

11. Pulse Personal Lube & Massage Oil Warming Dispenser

personal lube and massage oil warming dispenser, sexy self-care

Lube & Massage Oil Warming Dispenser

This warming dispenser precisely measures and gently heats the perfect amount of oil or lubricant, and reviewers LOVE IT. Amazing, fabulous, game-changer, exceeds expectations, a must-have…you get the picture. One reviewer said “warm lube/massage oil has changed my life. I tell everyone I know about this product. It has created such an exciting time in the bedroom for me and my partner! (and even solo time) Could not recommend this enough.” Um…ok then!

12. Washable Silk Pajamas

washable silk pajama set

Silk Pajamas

I’d been eyeing these up for the longest time and finally bought a pair during the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale…I should have gotten them sooner. SO insanely soft and luxurious, these are hands-down my favorite pair of pjs. Unlike satin pjs that make me sweat, these 100% silk pjs are breathable (no night sweats!) and machine-washable (yay!). They run slightly small – I’m usually a small/medium and the medium was the perfect size.

13. Love Talk

love talk card game, sexy self-care

Love Talk Game

Ok, so maybe not so much of a self-care solo activity, but definitely one that can help build a deeper connection with a partner – this is a deck of 72 questions to be asked in numerical order, each card building upon the previous one, guiding you into deeper understanding. (Written to be inclusive of all sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship styles – it works for longtime partners as well as those just getting to know each other.)

14. Sex Talk

sex talk card game, sexy self-care

Sex Talk Game

There may be a stigma around talking about/discussing sex, but since communication is the key to sexual chemistry…this sex talk version of the game above will help you to dive right in. Like the Love Talk version, these questions are meant to be asked in order and are designed to help you and your partner relax and open up. (Sometimes self-care is as simple as advocating for yourself!)

15. Kegel Weights Set

kegel weights set

Kegel Weights

If you don’t want to shell out the $$$ for the Red Light Therapy Device above, these Kegel Weights might be the thing for you. 15 minutes a day using these weights can replace 100 Kegels (!) which can improve bladder control and help restore pelvic floor health. This set comes with a range of weights suitable for “beginners” to “expert” as well as a 33-page E-book with detailed instructions. (Reviewers love these too!)

16. Smile Makers The Firefighter

vibrator, sexy self-care


What sexy self-care post would be complete without a vibrator?? This one is a uniquely shaped clitoral vibrator that “extends the touch to the labia for a broader and more intense stimulation.” With 4 speeds and 2 pulsation modes to find the perfect setting for yourself, this one has a 97% recommendation rating. (It’s also waterproof, made with cruelty-free, FDA-approved silicone, and comes in discreet packaging.)

17. Womanizer PRO W500

suction sex toy, sexy self-care

Clitoral Suction Toy

And if you’ve never tried Pleasure Air Technology (stimulation without touch), um…you should. This toy combines contactless pulsating and massaging air vibrations with a sleek, ergonomic stimulator that encircles the clitoris with a soft silicone head (but without direct contact). “Deliciously gentle pulsating suction then lavishes you with a featherlight contactless caress that won’t leave you feeling over-stimulated.” Simply put? Multiple orgasms, minimal effort. (Seriously, you’ll thank me later.)

18. Marshall Portable Bluetooth Speaker

portable bluetooth speaker


Nothing sets the mood like music, whether you’re by yourself or with a partner. This sexy little speaker is portable and plays for 15+ hours on a single charge. (Never thought I’d use “sexy” and “speaker” together, but this one works!)

19. Moon Juice Sex Dust Dietary Supplement Jar

moon juice sex dust

Sex Dust

Another random find of mine, I’m super intrigued by this herbal supplement. While some reviewers complain about the taste, others rave about the effects – from more energy and less stress to helping to balance hormones, decrease anxiety, and boost libido. Some take it during their cycle and swear it helps with mood-boosting and relaxation. Worth a try, for sure!

Any favorites I left out? Let us know in the comments!