Weekend 9.11


Pax asked last night if Mike and I remembered anything about 9/11. It was one of those moments when time sort of stops, just for a second, like a shot directly to your heart, a punch in the gut.  

Of course we remember. 

We all have our stories, too. I remember running to the phone, calling and calling and calling to try and find out if my friends who worked at the Pentagon were OK. They were, but one watched the plane hit from the parking lot. I remember being unable to turn off the news, and the face of a young man, desperate to find his wife in the World Trade Center wreckage, haunted my dreams for years.

To be honest, I hate talking about 9/11. It still feels raw, when I poke at it, like a gaping wound, only just stitched. And I find myself surprised that it has been 20 years.

After 20 years, I’d like to think that enough distance has passed that we can more fully process the trauma those events had on us, on our country as a whole. I’d like to be able to teach my boys that the lens we looked through in 2001 — our hurt, our pain, our anger, our focus on retribution — colored our ability to see the world clearly. And that our country’s unity of purpose came at a cost, not just a tragic human cost, but also with a delusion that we could ignore the world’s complexities and shape it with our collective, righteous anger.

However difficult this vote may be,Rep. Barbara Lee explained, back in 2001 when she was the lone vote against giving the president virtually unlimited war power, “some of us must urge the use of restraint. Our country is in a state of mourning. Some of us must say, ‘Let’s step back for a moment, let’s just pause, just for a minute, and think through the implications of our actions today, so that this does not spiral out of control.’ ” 

I hope going forward, that our children learn to value this pause, this period of mourning. That with collective trauma comes wisdom, if only we grant ourselves the time to rise above our raw emotions, and see it. 

One of the most sustainable approaches to fashion…is to buy secondhand. And I recently realized that I’ve been using the same go-to eBay searches for years. One example? Parker silk midi dress. This eBay search term is one of my most-used ways to find gorgeous, 100% silk dresses. Would you guys be interested in an article (or maybe a series of articles) rounding up our favorite eBay searches?

I need an enneagram-cowboy boot mapping. I keep trying to find cowboy boots, but the possibilities are…endless. And overwhelming. So far, I have four pairs coming to try: one, two, three aaaand four. We’ll see. This might be a failed experiment.

Dresses to wear with cowboy boots. Just in case…I’m picturing something like this. Or maybe even this one? Hmm.

Easily the best thing I’ve bought at J.Crew. This 100% cashmere cardigan just arrived and it’s GLORIOUS. I have the xs/s in the gray. Article coming soon.

Something for Mike. I’m getting my husband these sweet Sorel boot-sneaks. Oops — his size is sold out, but they’re also in-stock at Sorel.com.

Annoying. A bunch of NSale products are back on sale…and while that’s a good thing, there are a couple that are actually on sale for less (yup — I checked). Specifically my favorite Theory coat ($70 less than NSale pricing), and those La Ligne half-zip sweaters ($15 less than NSale pricing). Everything else I checked was within a few bucks of NSale pricing (up or down). If you guys bought either of those products during the NSale, it might be worth giving Nordstrom a call; I’ll bet they’ll adjust the price.

New colors!! Everlane just restocked our fav Transit backpacks in some seriously gorgeous new colorways.

There’s a mathematician, so. I’ve been email-chatting with the founder of Suprise Powers, a company who makes diverse, science-themed dolls. There’s a coder (be still my heart), a mathematician (my roots!), a freaking astronaut and a vet. While I almost said that these dolls are for little girls who like science…nope. These are dolls for kids who like science. Both of my boys would’ve loved them when they were little (and frankly, why shouldn’t boys be introduced to coding by a girl??). We’re going to do a full review soon, but these dolls look seriously cool.

I’ve gotta run…my boys are playing in their first-ever tennis match. Thanks to the bizarre start to the school year, they’re playing a match before practices have even started and Pax is a MESS. Raines, per usual, is completely chill and un-moved, but if I’m not there to calm down The Pax, whoa.

Hope you guys are able to spend some time this weekend squeezing the ones you love.

20 years.




  1. Yes to the eBay proposal! I’m a big fan of secondhand shopping via eBay to be a little more budget and sustainable-minded when shopping

  2. I absolutely hear you- talking about the events of 9/11 takes me right back to being a scared and confused 10th grader just 20 miles north of ground zero. Friends’ parents went to work that morning never to return. We sat watching as the second plane hit via a TV cart in the school’s library. We feared we were next. I still remember the panicked phone calls to and from the school as they dismissed us early and into a fog, feeling helpless and alone.

    Selfishly, I was glad this anniversary fell on a Saturday. I teach 9th and 10th graders. Every year, I am confronted with the realization that I was their age, sitting in a classroom as it all went down, in a time before they were born. I wonder how they process and internalize our national day of mourning. I wonder if it ever will get easier with time, or if it even should.

  3. YES to secondhand styles! This is all I can afford! I just emulate what I see with older versions or less costly brands, but would love to see more on the topic!

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