“AUUUGH!!!” I yelled, pausing only for a split second before plunging my hand into, yes, the toilet. I stood there, frozen in horror, holding one very toilet-soaked mitten.
Not just any mitten, mind you. It was one of my freaking heated mittens. And yes: I was in a busy public restroom. That had been occupied riiiiight before I walked in.
The good news was that I had just walked in, shoving my mittens on the shelf above the toilet (FYI the men’s rooms have baskets), when one of my mittens fell in. The other bit of good news, I suppose, is that everything else I typically place on that shelf — the other mitten, my helmet, my goggles — did NOT fall into the toilet.
But the bad news was that my usual gut reaction to Things Accidentally Dropped In Toilets (Bye, mitten!! Nice knowing ya!!) wasn’t going to cut it here: those heated mittens are four hundred and fifty freaking dollars.
Turns out, everyone has a price at which they will plunge their hand into a freshly flushed-by-someone-else toilet, and mine is $449.95.
I walked out of the stall, holding the dripping mitten in front of me like a bomb. There were a few strange looks, and one woman leapt out of the way, lest I drip any toilet water on her. It was fairly obvious — from either my demeanor or my scream — what had happened. I walked over to the sink, turned on the water, and stuck my mitten under the faucet.
But…this mitten is wired. With batteries.
I then pulled it back out from under the faucet, worrying that — I don’t know — I could get some sort of shock? But then I was still stuck with a toilet-soaked mitten so I plunged it back in. Will it ever work again?? I pulled the mitten out. But TOILET!!! I plunged it back in. I did this several times, in (but the batteries!), out (toilet!), in (but the batteries!), out (toilet!) until I just gritted my teeth (no shock so far) and stuck it back in the water. Once I was satisfied (not the right word — there was nothing satisfying about this), I attempted to dry the mitten with a paper towel, conscious the entire time that while the mitten may be rinsed, it certainly wasn’t washed.
I then moved to the hand dryers, and started the (very long) process of drying the mitten, in hopes of saving the heat function.
As I was drying, a little girl (about 4- or 5-years-old) came into the bathroom with her mom. She was singing to herself, and unzipped her full snowsuit past her waist as she walked (alone) into the stall. Under the door, I see the snowsuit fall down around her ski boot-clad ankles, where she proceeds to kick it into a pile with her feet and step on it.
Like a step stool.
She then wanders back out, still singing, dragging her snowsuit along the muddy bathroom floor with each step.
Now, we are not in the nice public restrooms. We are not at the fancy lodge at Stowe. We are on the local’s side, with the older, uh, more “authentic” bathrooms. And I’m not usually that prissy about dirt and things, but between my toilet mitten and her now mud-and-bathroom-gunked snowsuit, I’m starting to get sweaty. My instinct (like any mom’s, I’m sure) is to simply go over there and help her into her snowsuit so it doesn’t continue to drag on the ground. But I’m pausing here because my hands have just been in a toilet. And would I want some stranger with toilet hands touching my 5-year-old kid?? No. No I would not.
So I just watched from the corner, like some creepy lurker, as she verrrrry carefullllly applied soap to her hands, sang a hand-washing song for 20 seconds (the kid was obviously very well-trained), rinsed thoroughly, and then meticulously dried her hands with a towel.
Then she pulled up her snowsuit (ignoring the streaks of gunk) zipped it up, wiped her nose on her hands, and walked out.
Her mom followed a minute later, blissfully unaware.
And that’s when I started laughing.
NOT rigid. I just bought this pair of Boyish jeans in ‘short circuit’ and they’re kiiiiind of amazing. They look like rigid jeans, but are actually made of 33% Tencel, 1% elastane and the rest is organic cotton. The result? Suuuper soft, comfy, and sustainably made jeans that inexplicably have that rigid denim look. I’ve been wearing them with a giant cuff and either my Ganni boots or my Sorel hikers. More sizes in that exact style and wash can be found at Revolve, or Boyish themselves.
Didn’t used to be like this. My very first peek in the mirror every morning is…rough. And while age is really to blame, the dry winter air up here isn’t helping. I’ve actually started slathering Biossance’s Rose Oil on — immediately — every morning, and my face changes in seconds. I don’t bother washing my face first. I just rub a whole dropper-ful in (even over my lips, eyebrows, neck, everything), even if all I’m going to do is workout. It’s literally like adding an instant glow. That shizz is magic.
Can’t resist. Whenever I hear my friends start talking about dressing up, one designer in particular keeps popping up: Norma Kamali. Her designs are flattering, sexy, and just cool enough for a little edge. Her Diana dresses, in particular, seem to be one of the most beloved styles. I just came across it in a very daring mesh…and I don’t think I can resist. Wow.
Black or White? These seriously cool recycled cashmere beanies are 40% off right now, and I can’t decide on the color: black with white stripes or white with black stripes?
What I’d wear to the Mad Hatter’s Tee Party. I’m a sucker for a colorful, messy floral. There’s something very Alice in Wonderland about them that I find so completely charming. This tee is my latest obsession. I’d wear it with wide-leg trouser jeans or ripped boyfriend jeans or — if I were actually attending the tea party — these pants (so fun).
PSA: If you wait until actual spring to buy Converse, they’ll be completely sold out. I just bought this yellow pair. A really pretty pale lavender just dropped (and is fully stocked as I write this), as are the platform “lift” Converse in two gorgeous spring pastels. Any of these colors would look pretty great with a pair of light wash or even white denim.
Speaking of color…I just did a color consultation with Julieta! I’ve been meaning to do this for years now, so I finally reached out last month to get something on the calendar. Gang….not to overstate things, but it was so ridiculously helpful, I swear this is the ONE THING that everyone needs to do. Unlike the old days of Color Me Beautiful (ha!) she’s able to pinpoint your colors on a much more custom level; I definitely didn’t fit into one of the usual types. I’m a neutral-cool, but because of my specific coloring, I’m better off with either really light, clear, icy pastel colors…or surprisingly deep colors. We also figured out the exact shade of gray that works for my skin, as well as some fun surprises (like yellow!).
Our bikini guide is…almost ready. Until it launches, I offer you this seriously cute sporty bikini top I can’t stop thinking about. Totally my vibe (when I’m not in a string bikini).
HAHAHA…No. You’ve really gotta see these on the model. And only $1,350! #snort
It’s Black history month…and there’s two things that, frankly, I try to do all year, but I like to use this month as a check-in: One, how is our bookshelf? Are we reading books that contain Black and brown protagonists? I just added a bunch of new books to our Bookshop list of picture books with non-white protagonists, and just started a new book list for tweens and teens. In hindsight, I may need to break that out into middle grade and actual teen book lists (some of the teen books may not be appropriate for younger kids, so consider yourself warned). Second, we’re still focused on widening our understanding of American history. Jermaine Fowler (@thehumanityarchive) and Gahmya (@evolvedteacher) are both amazing for this purpose. Did you know, as but one example, that Harriet Tubman was buried with military honors because she served in the Civil War as a military leader and a spy? She literally led the Combahee River Raid, making her the first woman in US history to lead a military expedition. Oh, and her real name was ‘Araminta’.
That’s it for me! Have a good weekend…