So, you want to make your neighbors question ever moving to your neighborhood? You’ve come to the right place.
Welcome to: The 3 Levels of Halloween Bossery.
I’d like to present my qualifications before we get into today’s discussion.
- All neighbors — including directly to my right, left and across the street — will say to me every year when decorations go up, “Oh, guess it’s that time of year again…” in a very flat, monotone voice. I call this a compliment.
- If the calendar passes Labor Day sans skeleton, neighbors express concern over my health and well-being.
- If you dare set up anything remotely red and green and festive before Halloween, I will break into your house and decorate your tree with eyeballs and skulls.
Now that we’ve built rapport, let’s get into it.
Happy Halloween: How To Horrify Your Neighbors This Spooky Season
I’m not going to waste time convincing you to respect Halloween. However, I will remind you that it is the only time of year when dead bodies in your yard are acceptable. And let’s be honest, this wins over a rabbit in pastels, any day.
There are a few simple elements that take your Halloween decorations or party from Slimer to Ghostface Killah. (No disrespect to Ecto Cooler.) Those elements, if you want it quick and dirty, are…
1. Eerie Lighting
The number one most important upgrade that you can make to any display, event or selfie this spooky season is lighting. And lighting is affordable.
Buy a few LED floodlights and uplights to literally change your world.
Shop My Halloween Lighting Essentials
2. The Spookily Handy Invisible Stuff
The next thing you need are the things you don’t see. Ya know, the wires and tape and hooks that keep your Halloween decorations in place. These are truly the wind beneath our skeletal wings.
If you have skeletons and witch hats flying off of your house and into the road, nothing else is going to matter.
Shop More Handy Invisible Stuff for Halloween
3. Creepy Theme = Necessary
Now, you need a theme. I prefer old-school, traditional Halloween spooks like skeletons and witches — I’m not into the gore thing. But you do whatever makes your heart feel its darkest.
This year’s theme was black and white. So, during the day, you’ll see spray-painted pumpkins and jack-o’-lanterns, white mums, skeletons, and lots of creepy bones. But at night…
Shop More Halloween Themes
4. Scary Halloween Costumes (Get Ready…)
And, finally, you need a costume. I’ll be honest, this is a slippery slope. People begin to expect things from you. And once you get on stilts and walk on all fours, there’s really nowhere left to go… BUT there are a few rules I follow:
1. It Must Be Scary
Oh, you want to be Jojo Siwa? You must be zombie Jojo Siwa. Mermaid? Dead mermaid.
2. It Must Be Homemade
This is just me, you guys, but homemade, scary Halloween costumes with a glue gun, a craft store and Amazon tulle is the only way to go.
3. Research Your Makeup & Get The Real-Deal Costume Stuff
Just be careful because you will end up doing every child’s makeup in the neighborhood.
Now, I’d like you to be sure there are no children in the room as the next image is the scariest Halloween costume I have ever worn or created… I present: the UPS man who knows that your husband is home and only delivers all of your packages when he is there. The terror.
Happy spookin’ 🎃
P.S. Just get the full-size candy bars.
Boo! Did I scare you, Pinners? No? Well, you’ll love this. Check it out.