How To Do Halloween Like A Boss


So, you want to make your neighbors question ever moving to your neighborhood? You’ve come to the right place.

Welcome to: The 3 Levels of Halloween Bossery.

I’d like to present my qualifications before we get into today’s discussion.

  1. All neighbors — including directly to my right, left and across the street — will say to me every year when decorations go up, “Oh, guess it’s that time of year again…” in a very flat, monotone voice. I call this a compliment. 
  2. If the calendar passes Labor Day sans skeleton, neighbors express concern over my health and well-being.
  3. If you dare set up anything remotely red and green and festive before Halloween, I will break into your house and decorate your tree with eyeballs and skulls.

Now that we’ve built rapport, let’s get into it.

Happy Halloween: How To Horrify Your Neighbors This Spooky Season

I’m not going to waste time convincing you to respect Halloween. However, I will remind you that it is the only time of year when dead bodies in your yard are acceptable. And let’s be honest, this wins over a rabbit in pastels, any day.

There are a few simple elements that take your halloween decorations or party from Slimer to Ghostface Killah, including lighting, invisible tape, hangers & zip ties, & a classic scary theme.

There are a few simple elements that take your Halloween decorations or party from Slimer to Ghostface Killah. (No disrespect to Ecto Cooler.) Those elements, if you want it quick and dirty, are…

1. Eerie Lighting

The number one most important upgrade that you can make to any display, event or selfie this spooky season is lighting. And lighting is affordable.

The No. 1 most important upgrade you can make to any Halloween display, event or selfie is lighting.

Buy a few LED floodlights and uplights to literally change your world.

Buy a few LED floodlights & colored uplights to really improve your Halloween decorations.

Shop My Halloween Lighting Essentials

Lighting is a game-changer when decorating for Halloween. It can take your house or party from fall cuteness to haunting scare zone.

2. The Spookily Handy Invisible Stuff

The next thing you need are the things you don’t see. Ya know, the wires and tape and hooks that keep your Halloween decorations in place. These are truly the wind beneath our skeletal wings.

The next thing you need to up your Halloween game: all those invisible things you don't want seen — tape, hooks, glue, zip ties, bendable wire, etc.

If you have skeletons and witch hats flying off of your house and into the road, nothing else is going to matter.

If you have Halloween decorations, skeletons & witch hats flying off of your house & into the road, nothing else is going to matter. Get those clips & fishing wire/line.

Shop More Handy Invisible Stuff for Halloween

3. Creepy Theme = Necessary

Now, you need a theme. I prefer old-school, traditional Halloween spooks like skeletons and witches — I’m not into the gore thing. But you do whatever makes your heart feel its darkest.

To ace your Halloween decorations, you need a theme. I prefer old-school spooks like skeletons & witches.

This year’s theme was black and white. So, during the day, you’ll see spray-painted pumpkins and jack-o’-lanterns, white mums, skeletons, and lots of creepy bones. But at night…

My decoration theme this Halloween was black + white. During the day you’ll see spray-painted pumpkins, white mums, skeletons & lots of bones.

Shop More Halloween Themes

4. Scary Halloween Costumes (Get Ready…)

And, finally, you need a costume. I’ll be honest, this is a slippery slope. People begin to expect things from you. And once you get on stilts and walk on all fours, there’s really nowhere left to go… BUT there are a few rules I follow:

Halloween isn't complete without an epic costume. But I have a few rules: must be scary, homemade & made from quality materials.

1. It Must Be Scary

Oh, you want to be Jojo Siwa? You must be zombie Jojo Siwa. Mermaid? Dead mermaid.

What's a Halloween costume if it isn't scary? Want to be Jojo Siwa? Zombie Jojo Siwa.

2. It Must Be Homemade

This is just me, you guys, but homemade, scary Halloween costumes with a glue gun, a craft store and Amazon tulle is the only way to go.

A homemade Halloween costume with a glue gun, a craft store & Amazon tulle is the only way to go.

3. Research Your Makeup & Get The Real-Deal Costume Stuff

Just be careful because you will end up doing every child’s makeup in the neighborhood.

When designing my Halloween costume, I make sure to research the ideal makeup & get quality materials.

Now, I’d like you to be sure there are no children in the room as the next image is the scariest Halloween costume I have ever worn or created… I present: the UPS man who knows that your husband is home and only delivers all of your packages when he is there. The terror.

The scariest costume I have ever worn: the UPS man who knows that your husband is home & only delivers all of your packages *when he is there.*

Happy spookin’ 🎃

P.S. Just get the full-size candy bars.



Boo! Did I scare you, Pinners? No? Well, you’ll love this. Check it out.

This spooky season, my Halloween game is on point. Scary decorations, creepy homemade costumes, eerie lighting & a haunting theme will horrify the neighbors.
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After multiple existential crises, I've been an interior designer, a store window designer, a personal stylist (when I want to say something fancier than friend who went to the mall with another friend to "help"), a teacher, an author and illustrator, a graphic designer, NFT creator, a t-shirt designer and cat and Broadway enthusiast. But NOT Cats on Broadway. Just cats, the animals. What have I learned through all of my careers? You can really do a thing and then call yourself whatever you want. No one will check. But before all of this, in the year 2008, I was a blogger. And now I'm back with my favorite blog of all time. Let's go.


  1. ok seriously you’re the best. I knew it! “whatever makes your heart it’s darkest”….and you’re so right about lighting…it’s really everything

  2. This article is delightful. I love how you use lighting to completely change the look. The night vibes are creepy and awesome, but I swear the daytime tableau looks downright chic.

    Very into the skeletons climbing your shrubbery, 10/10.

  3. So good! Especially that last costume. Because you know that’s how it always works. You go all out and I bet your house is the best in the neighborhood!

  4. Love it all.

    “I’m not into gore.” and “Here’s a picture of me with a severed head.” I dunno. You might be into gore?

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