Well, hey, friends! I thought it wasn’t enough to have one post fully dedicated to Lopsided Boob Swimwear here on The Mom Edit, so here I am, back with another. Or rather, a deeper dive into the three swimsuits I ended up keeping from the full review I posted a few weeks ago.
Be sure to check out the video below for a closer look at all three.
If you missed it, six years ago I had a single mastectomy, shortly followed by reconstruction of my right breast. Since then, my left breast has been through it all — weight loss, weight gain, pregnancy, breastfeeding.
The result is a set of breasts that are more different than they are alike. And while it’s not typically something that particularly bothers me, I do tend to notice it more when I don a swimsuit.
Psssst…just here for the links? Here ya go!
Best Overall | Most Dramatic | Most Family-Vacation-Friendly
Makeup I’m Wearing In The Video
Face: Merit Flush Balm (Beverly Hills) | Merit Bronze Balm (Seine)
Eyes: Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Cream Eye-Shadow Stick (Golden Bronze) | Telescopic Lift Mascara
Brows: NYX Brow Glue | Maybelline Total Temptation Brow Pencil (Soft Brown)
Lips: Stila Plumping Lip Glaze (Kitten)
The Best Swimsuit for Uneven Breasts? I Found 3 Keepers
So, I set out to find the best swimsuits to flatter my, uh, situation, and after trying on seven suits with serious potential, I wound up narrowing things down to three that I felt were absolute keepers.
Keep in mind, these would all be stellar whether or not you’ve got an uneven bust, because none of these swimsuits employ the use of prosthetics or pads to make up the difference; rather, they just feature interesting details or designs that help detract from the fact that one boob is decidedly different from the other. Happily, all three swimsuits are easy to get your hands on (thanks, Amazon!) — and even better, they’re all under $50.
This Sporlike one-piece bathing suit is my favorite of the three — potentially because it’s the only one-piece I tried on, but also because the asymmetrical, structured ruffle feels so elevated and cool. I took this one on my birthday getaway, and it held up well in the pool and equally well to a quick spin in the washer (I hung it to dry).
The cutout on the side helps to balance out the more modest coverage up top — as does the fairly cheeky bum. It’s truly pretty, and one you’ll get asked about at the pool or beach. Fit is true to size; wearing a small.
The Sporlike ruffle high-waisted bikini doesn’t necessarily camouflage uneven breasts (you can see in the video that one is noticeably fuller, but I also hadn’t yet nursed the babe that morning), but the ruffles are so dramatic, they definitely draw the eye.
I love the idea of wearing the top under overalls or a linen coverall off the beach, and the high-waisted bottoms are retro and flattering enough. I don’t typically love high-waisted briefs on my boyish middle, but I’ll admit this pair is comfortable and plays well off of the flirtiness of the top. Everything feels like it’ll stay put with this one too. Lots of other colors available. Fit is true to size; wearing a small.
I know stripes usually highlight asymmetry, but the ruffle on Saodimallsu’s high-waisted two-piece swimsuit does a fine job of masking that, and the effect is cute without being overly frilly. And because of those frills, you can remove the cups, if you like, and still have some modesty. I love that the strap on the bandeau top is removable too — perfect for lounging and avoiding tan lines, but you can quickly pop it on for more-active pursuits.
The bottoms, again, are perhaps not my favorite style (I’m really a super-low-rise-bikini-bottom kinda gal), the opposing stripes are admittedly pretty flattering. This would be a great suit for vacationing with the whole family. Cute, flirty, not-too-mumsy, but something you could confidently rock around the in-laws without feeling too “look at me!” The only downside, perhaps, is that the band on the top isn’t adjustable. That said, the small worked just fine for my 34C(ish) bust.
Let me know if you’ve got a fave! Happy swim season, folks.
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