5 Things To Grab…When The Apocalypse Strikes

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Sure 2020 brought us a pandemic, but you haven’t lived until you’ve raided your closet in your powerless, flooded home like you’re starring in a remake of “The Purge”…shivering in your faux fur leopard coat as you collect as many items as possible by the light of your dying iPhone.

2021 said hold my beer (or, in my case, Topo Chico) amirite?

We live in Texas and our house has been without power — as of the time of writing this missive — for over 24 hours. A pipe burst in our attic, flooding part of the house (don’t worry, I saved the Stupid Pants). We have no clue what is going to happen to our pool. Our roads aren’t plowed. Heck, I’m not even sure we have salt. And yes, we are extremely lucky. My mom lives nearby, and, although experiencing rolling blackouts, we’re all able to stay at her house comfortably. Yes, that’s my mom, stepdad, husband, three feral children, a senior Min Pin, my 20-something-year-old brother, and a partridge in a pear tree.

5 Things To Grab From Your Closet…In A Texas Snowpocalypse

There is something discombobulating about being displaced from your home with no timeline to return. I’m a creature of habit. I like being in my space. I don’t do uncertainty well –- which is why I literally have “accept uncertainty” tattooed on my foot (thanks 21-year-old me). I need something resembling normalcy. I need an outlet. For me, that outlet is writing. It is my salve. Even as I’m rushing through my closet, I’m thinking about writing. “Five things to grab from your closet during a once-in-a-generation weather event during a once-in-a-generation pandemic would make a wonderful blog,” I thought darkly to myself. But, pondering the SEO value and terrible title did make me grin a bit, so maybe it’ll help anyone else dealing with “unprecedented” weather.

I don’t write to minimize the severity of the situation. I write because I need to let it all out, put it somewhere, so these feelings aren’t renting space in my mind. I write to channel my feelings of rage, fear and sadness into something lighter. I live by the motto “If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry,” and I’d rather find some humor, no matter how dark. So here is:

You haven’t lived until you’ve raided a closet in a powerless, flooded home..shivering in a faux fur leopard coat & grabbing as much as possible by the light of a dying iPhone.

1|2|3|4|5

1| The Stupid Pants (Nike Palazzo Pants)

You haven’t lived until you’ve raided a closet in a powerless, flooded home..shivering in a faux fur leopard coat & grabbing as much as possible by the light of a dying iPhone.
Image Source via Nordstrom

OBVI! If we’ve learned one thing it’s that the stupid pants (ie: Nike Palazzo Pants) are magical and all-knowing. How could you not save them?! The fleece will keep your legs warm along with the 3 inches of hair growth you refuse to shave (why start now?! I don’t have room to pack a razor!). Plus, you can hitch them up Urkel-style to avoid dragging the hems through snow.


2| Blondo Camila Waterproof Booties

You haven’t lived until you’ve raided a closet in a powerless, flooded home..shivering in a faux fur leopard coat & grabbing as much as possible by the light of a dying iPhone.
Image Source via Nordstrom

If you live in the south, you probably don’t have a need for actual snow boots (nor can you find them, those are for when you visit snow, not everyday use! They’re probably stuffed somewhere in your flooded attic). Never mind, you have Camila Waterproof Booties (similar and ooooh this color) and dammit you are going to put the “waterproof” to the test. Even through your tears, you’ll still look like a badass.


3| Faux Fur Leopard Jacket // any big ass jacket

You haven’t lived until you’ve raided a closet in a powerless, flooded home..shivering in a faux fur leopard coat & grabbing as much as possible by the light of a dying iPhone.
Image Source via Nordstrom

Oh wait, you’re already wearing your faux fur leopard jacket (similar) because you have NO power. KEWL. Does that count as one of the five items? Can you add items to work around the 5 limit that I’ve created artificially, solely for SEO purposes? Wait, I created the limit! The limit doesn’t exist! (Mean Girls callback). I wasn’t able to make coffee during the last power hour (I just yelled “DRINK” out loud scaring my bebe. Some habits die hard), my brain is broken, so let’s just count this as an item.


4| A Cozy Knit Sweater

You haven’t lived until you’ve raided a closet in a powerless, flooded home..shivering in a faux fur leopard coat & grabbing as much as possible by the light of a dying iPhone.
Image Source via Madewell

Looks like my dream of dressing like a walking duvet cover is manifesting. Thanks Vision Board! Secure your cutest, heaviest sweater. It’ll double as your sleepwear, so make sure it’s comfy. (I grabbed my Madewell sweater — this Charley Pullover Sweater is similar and TTS). Also love this one.


5| Underpants

You haven’t lived until you’ve raided a closet in a powerless, flooded home..shivering in a faux fur leopard coat & grabbing as much as possible by the light of a dying iPhone.
Image Source via Soma

Maybe this should be further up the list and maybe I should have a bra on the list but ONLY to keep the girls warm (Bali Comfort Revolution FTW). This is not a time to worry about gravity. Underwire be damned! This is another time to implement my social movement of “normalizing panty lines.” It’s cold. No need to wear floss. Save it for the teeth you haven’t brushed since yesterday. Grab your granny panties (I live in these Soma Super Soft Signature Lace High Leg) and hightail it out of there. I’ve also heard amazing things about these Soma Vanishing Edges if you’re not ready to #embracethelines.

Other odds and ends I grabbed: Biossance Squalane + Rose Vegan Lip Balm (gotta keep those lips hydrated!), my Clare V. Grommet Midi Purse (seems responsible, this Leopard Print Midi Purse is on-sale), my R+Co Bel Air Smoothing Shampoo and my R+Co Chiffon Styling Mousse (eventually I’ll be able to shower right?) and my Shakti Acupressure Mat (mama definitely has some tight muscles right about now).

I grew up in New Jersey. I went to college in Boston. Two to three inches of snow, below freezing temps., might cause some power outages, but I doubt we’d see more than a delayed opening for school and work, plus some disgruntled teens shoveling their driveways. But this isn’t New Jersey. This is Texas. And when I tell you Texans, our homes (guess I’m a pseudo-ish Texan), our infrastructure is not prepared for this weather, it is an understatement. This is a once-in-a-generation weather event, although with climate change we seem to be having “unprecedented” weather events every year. Maybe we need to rephrase that.

In all seriousness though, stay safe, stay cozy, find humor where you can, check on your neighbor, we’ll get through this, come hell or high stupid pants.

You haven’t lived until you’ve raided a closet in a powerless, flooded home..shivering in a faux fur leopard coat & grabbing as much as possible by the light of a dying iPhone.
Elsa wuz here

If you’re looking to help, S & team pulled together plenty of resources to aid those seriously in need. The best (and fastest) way is by donating to a few organizations who are actively working on the ground in Texas.

x, Meredith

Oh, hey, Pinners…

You haven’t lived until you’ve raided a closet in a powerless, flooded home..shivering in a faux fur leopard coat & grabbing as much as possible by the light of a dying iPhone.

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Meet Meredith! After she coined the wildly-popular (and hilarious) term “Stupid Pants” and started our first-ever #MyHolidayEdit, we knew we had to share her with this entire community on the regular. Expect plenty of fun, witty articles, and warm-weather style (Meredith currently lives in the Dallas-Fort Worth area).

12 COMMENTS

  1. I love that you can still find a sliver of (dark) humor in all that’s happening. Stay safe, stay warm, your friends are sending prayers and love! And hopefully help!

  2. Houstonian here. Meredith, I think I might love you. Writing is also an outlet for me. When our power came on I yelled, “PLUG IN YOUR SCREENS!” to my two active, elementary age boys. Because despite being in the same building with them for the past 11 months, being huddled in the same room with them (by the fire) for the past 3 days nearly broke me. I need quiet, alone-time like I need air.
    Luckily I didn’t have to save my wardrobe from an attic flood, but I’ll tell you what I made sure was clean and dry before the storm hit. My TWO SETS (yes, I’m ridiculous, because I need one to wear while the other is drying) of Naadam cashmere joggers and turtle necks (thank you for recommending Shana!) layered on top of my Smartwool base layers, Smartwool hat, Smartwool socks, and long Patagonia down puffer on top. I realize I it’s silly for a Houstonian to have all that winter gear, but who’s silly now!!!
    But seriously, Meredith, hang in there. One more night of freezing temps and a few more days of boiling water. Then we can do luxurious things like shower, wash hands, and wash fruit without fearing infectious diseases. Or we can just fly to Cancun like our Senator did! 🙄

  3. Meredith, I LOVE your voice – it’s such a great addition to TME! And please know we’re all thinking about you guys up here in MD – hang in there and stay safe. We’ll keep donating, and please let us know if there’s anything we can do. Seriously. If you need, like, 700 more jokes about Ted Cruz, we are THERE.

  4. Christy – SHOWERS?! What are these showers you speak of? Seriously I think if I take my hair out of my scrunchie it will stay in place. I feel you on the need for alone time. My kids feel like they’re on top of me. We’re past the novelty of this, maybe even some of the initial fears, and now it’s a tadddd annoying. But I’m also just so exhausted. Much love and solidarity to you and all Texans….well…except the one who escaped to Margaritaville or something.

  5. JS – Thank you so much for that. Also, alllll the Cruz/Cruise/Cancun Cruz jokes. Dunking on Cruz is my favorite form of exercise (maybe I need to do a blog on what I wear whilst doing that) LOL jokes…kind of…maybe

  6. Glad you’re safe. I love your sense of humor and your writing style. And yes, dunking on Cruz- what better way to unify the country? 🤪

  7. I applaud your positive spirit as you manage through this dreadful storm. Was hoping to get a pic of the mom, dad, feral kids, etc. You must post! Also, I’m here for the dunking-on-Cruz portion of the program. He’s inadvertently become the great unifier.

  8. “… come hell or high Stupid Pants.” LOL I’m absolutely impressed with your ability to find humor and SEO amidst a once-in-a-generation catastrophe amidst a once-in-a-generation cataclysm. This ice apocalypse is the mirror image of Califronia’s fire apocalypse last fall, when we were huddled inside because the air was too toxic to breathe. Stay safe! Hopping over to S’s list to see how to help!

  9. Ugh. An 11 year old boy was found dead in his home today. An elderly man was found dead in his recliner due to this weather. But yes, by all means, make light of it and call it your “outlet” and tell us what ridiculous fashion items you pulled from your closet.

    TONE DEAF.

    Let the piling on begin, as I’m sure it will.

  10. Jane, you sound really angry. I’m angry too. People in my community have died preventable deaths. It’s enraging. Especially, when you’re in it. After 11 months of tragedy, my grandmother died last week, and then this storm hit. I’ve been dealing with grief, and trying to write her eulogy in the midst of all this, and I really appreciated the levity this post brought to a very stressful situation. I understand your anger, I just think maybe it should be directed in a more useful direction than at someone who’s already having a hard time. But again, I hear your anger, I feel your anger, it’s ok to be angry. Let’s just be angry at the right people.

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