Sure 2020 brought us a pandemic, but you haven’t lived until you’ve raided your closet in your powerless, flooded home like you’re starring in a remake of “The Purge”…shivering in your faux fur leopard coat as you collect as many items as possible by the light of your dying iPhone.
2021 said hold my beer (or, in my case, Topo Chico) amirite?
We live in Texas and our house has been without power — as of the time of writing this missive — for over 24 hours. A pipe burst in our attic, flooding part of the house (don’t worry, I saved the Stupid Pants). We have no clue what is going to happen to our pool. Our roads aren’t plowed. Heck, I’m not even sure we have salt. And yes, we are extremely lucky. My mom lives nearby, and, although experiencing rolling blackouts, we’re all able to stay at her house comfortably. Yes, that’s my mom, stepdad, husband, three feral children, a senior Min Pin, my 20-something-year-old brother, and a partridge in a pear tree.
5 Things To Grab From Your Closet…In A Texas Snowpocalypse
There is something discombobulating about being displaced from your home with no timeline to return. I’m a creature of habit. I like being in my space. I don’t do uncertainty well –- which is why I literally have “accept uncertainty” tattooed on my foot (thanks 21-year-old me). I need something resembling normalcy. I need an outlet. For me, that outlet is writing. It is my salve. Even as I’m rushing through my closet, I’m thinking about writing. “Five things to grab from your closet during a once-in-a-generation weather event during a once-in-a-generation pandemic would make a wonderful blog,” I thought darkly to myself. But, pondering the SEO value and terrible title did make me grin a bit, so maybe it’ll help anyone else dealing with “unprecedented” weather.
I don’t write to minimize the severity of the situation. I write because I need to let it all out, put it somewhere, so these feelings aren’t renting space in my mind. I write to channel my feelings of rage, fear and sadness into something lighter. I live by the motto “If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry,” and I’d rather find some humor, no matter how dark. So here is:
OBVI! If we’ve learned one thing it’s that the stupid pants (ie: Nike Palazzo Pants) are magical and all-knowing. How could you not save them?! The fleece will keep your legs warm along with the 3 inches of hair growth you refuse to shave (why start now?! I don’t have room to pack a razor!). Plus, you can hitch them up Urkel-style to avoid dragging the hems through snow.
If you live in the south, you probably don’t have a need for actual snow boots (nor can you find them, those are for when you visit snow, not everyday use! They’re probably stuffed somewhere in your flooded attic). Never mind, you have Camila Waterproof Booties (similar and ooooh this color) and dammit you are going to put the “waterproof” to the test. Even through your tears, you’ll still look like a badass.
3| Faux Fur Leopard Jacket // any big ass jacket
Oh wait, you’re already wearing your faux fur leopard jacket (similar) because you have NO power. KEWL. Does that count as one of the five items? Can you add items to work around the 5 limit that I’ve created artificially, solely for SEO purposes? Wait, I created the limit! The limit doesn’t exist! (Mean Girls callback). I wasn’t able to make coffee during the last power hour (I just yelled “DRINK” out loud scaring my bebe. Some habits die hard), my brain is broken, so let’s just count this as an item.
4| A Cozy Knit Sweater
Looks like my dream of dressing like a walking duvet cover is manifesting. Thanks Vision Board! Secure your cutest, heaviest sweater. It’ll double as your sleepwear, so make sure it’s comfy. (I grabbed my Madewell sweater — this Charley Pullover Sweater is similar and TTS). Also love this one.
Maybe this should be further up the list and maybe I should have a bra on the list but ONLY to keep the girls warm (Bali Comfort Revolution FTW). This is not a time to worry about gravity. Underwire be damned! This is another time to implement my social movement of “normalizing panty lines.” It’s cold. No need to wear floss. Save it for the teeth you haven’t brushed since yesterday. Grab your granny panties (I live in these Soma Super Soft Signature Lace High Leg) and hightail it out of there. I’ve also heard amazing things about these Soma Vanishing Edges if you’re not ready to #embracethelines.
Other odds and ends I grabbed: Biossance Squalane + Rose Vegan Lip Balm (gotta keep those lips hydrated!), my Clare V. Grommet Midi Purse (seems responsible, this Leopard Print Midi Purse is on-sale), my R+Co Bel Air Smoothing Shampoo and my R+Co Chiffon Styling Mousse (eventually I’ll be able to shower right?) and my Shakti Acupressure Mat (mama definitely has some tight muscles right about now).
I grew up in New Jersey. I went to college in Boston. Two to three inches of snow, below freezing temps., might cause some power outages, but I doubt we’d see more than a delayed opening for school and work, plus some disgruntled teens shoveling their driveways. But this isn’t New Jersey. This is Texas. And when I tell you Texans, our homes (guess I’m a pseudo-ish Texan), our infrastructure is not prepared for this weather, it is an understatement. This is a once-in-a-generation weather event, although with climate change we seem to be having “unprecedented” weather events every year. Maybe we need to rephrase that.
In all seriousness though, stay safe, stay cozy, find humor where you can, check on your neighbor, we’ll get through this, come hell or high stupid pants.
If you’re looking to help, S & team pulled together plenty of resources to aid those seriously in need. The best (and fastest) way is by donating to a few organizations who are actively working on the ground in Texas.
Oh, hey, Pinners…