Weekend 10.17


On Friday, we voted. It was raining, it was cold, but there was still a tentative feeling of hope in the air. The line at City Hall was long but everyone looked…determined. In a roll up your sleeves, Let’s Do This kind of way.

The thing about voting is that the actual act itself — once over — feels really anti-climatic. In my head I am not merely voting, I am Voting, Accomplishing My Civic Duty, Participating in Our Democracy, and feel like I should be walking out to the sound of trumpets or something. Or maybe a parade. Not a huge one, but definitely some drums and marching. Attention World, I have VOTED. YOU ARE WELCOME.

Pax, I think, agrees with me. I filled out the form, put it in the envelopes, walked forward with a big smile (hidden under a mask) and dropped it in the box. Pax looked around, “That’s…IT?” he demanded, incredulous.

Exactly. Cue the parade.

But this is, quite frankly, one of the the things I love about voting. The fact that it is just drop it in the bucket. Voting underscores that we’re all just in it together, that each of our votes count the same.

At least theoretically (let’s not argue over the electoral college at the moment).

As a parent, I think it’s important to remind my boys — as often as I can — that we are not special — none of us. I’m a big fan of the ordinary, and voting is a physical representation of that fact: every person gets one vote because every person matters the same.

Voting is a big (huge) deal. But it’s a big deal collectively — because we are one of many. So this is why I bring my boys to the polling station. So they can see my one small vote…in a bucket of millions.

And then? We make our own parade.

Black. Freaking. Friday. Given all of the questions we’ve been getting (and the amount of SEO traffic on the topic)…Lex had asked me to write up my thoughts on what Black Friday will look like this year. I am…conflicted. Clearly I was feeling some kind of way about Black Friday in general. Anyway, if you are interested, find my 2020 Black Friday rant, I mean predictions, here.

Calling all introverts…quietly. This Introvert tee made me laugh out loud. Knowing so many as well I do…I can appreciate the added genius of the barely-there text. Well done.

Um…these are not $1000. I was browsing for booties when this pair caught my eye. I thought they were rag & bone or Stella McCartney or Balenciaga or something….nope. They’re Franco Sarto and look wayyyy more expensive than they actually are.

And the award for the Most Needed Sale goes to…Backcountry’s sock sale. My favorite hiking socks are 20% off, made in Vermont, and work with my everyday booties, too. I swear by wool hiking socks to make boots more comfortable — including (especially?) heeled boots. If your wool socks are going to peek out at the ankle, then I highly recommend this pair of Smartwool socks. The navy blends in nicely with denim, and I’ve been wearing them for YEARS. (Actually, I have several pairs of this style, too, if you want something a little cuter to show.)

We need to talk about this sweatshirt suit. Everlane just dropped these cropped trousers and matching tailored topcoat (the menswear kind, with three buttons) in what is basically A SWEATPANT FABRIC. Obviously I ordered it immediately. Will report back.

Anyone else struggling to properly layer necklaces? The length of the necklaces need to vary — just so — and they’ve gotta be the right mix of textures, sizes — ugh. Mine always look a little off. Well, I keep coming back to this delicate little necklace by Gwen Beloti…and literally just realized that she also made this one and this one, so the three could be layered together. Ahhh… (BTW — Gwen Beloti is one of the Black-owned businesses we discovered recently, and now the whole team is obsessed.)

I just ordered these Re/DONE jeans. The wash got me. Fingers crossed.

Have you watched Cuties? A friend of mine just sent over this Atlantic article, ‘Watching the Outrage Over ‘Cuties’ as a Survivor of Pedophilia‘ and the writing is so good, it literally took my breath away.

Facts don’t change our minds. Friendship does. One article I can’t stop thinking about is James Clear’s Why Facts Don’t Change Our Minds. He talks about how bad ideas die faster when they’re ignored (not countered), and how kindness plays a major role. It’s a really thought-provoking read, and has some serious implications (I think) for why it’s even more important for social media outlets to crack down on misinformation.

Happy weekend, Gang.




  1. Have I watched Cuties?!?!

    Hell no

    To think that men are not stroking one out to these girls gyrations and twerking (but oh so artfully directed!) is an insult to my intelligence.

    It is softcore pedophilia, nothing more

    • I don’t actually base any of my decisions on what men may or may not be “stroking one out” on. That line of thinking seems VERY limiting. I mean…do you rule out nature documentaries of sheep, too? Do you avoid getting pedicures? Because I’m pretty sure someone somewhere has fetishes for those as well.

      The big question though, is did you actually READ the article linked? It was written as a review of ‘Cuties’ from someone who is a survivor of pedophilia, and is one of the most well-written, thought-provoking things I’ve read.

  2. Oh, please!

    You offend me by equating a nature documentary to this.

    I absolutely read the article and would never comment unless I had.

    It was anecdotal and emotionally-charged so no surprise that you enjoyed it. I am also the survivor of sexual abuse by a neighbor and find ‘Cuties’ to be a gateway for titillating the masses without any social ramifications.

    This movie and its distribution should horrify all mothers everywhere. Perhaps it would have been helpful if you had a girl to understand the detrimental impact of this wholly inappropriate film.

  3. I also find it very illuminating that you think the ‘big question” is whether or not I read the article.

    Where is your intellectual rigor? Is it lost in your closet?

    You have become an unserious person, a cheerleader for anything and everything that the cool kids tell you to hype.

    You have lost the plot and along with it, a faithful reader.

    Good day

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