Weekend 10.31


I sit up in bed, bleary-eyed, as Mike hands me my coffee. “Thanks, Baby,” I say, taking a sip. The coffee is hot, and after a few more sips, I can fully open my eyes. Mike opens the shades, and I squint at the sudden light. “I have to write my weekend post this morning,” I tell him. Mike plants a quick kiss on my lips. “I have to run COVID numbers,” he says. 

Welcome to our usual Saturday morning. 

There’s something about this weekend, however, that feels like we’ve reached a…culmination of sorts. Like the last several months (years? decades?) have been leading us all to this point. Like we’re perched on the edge of a cliff, high up on the mountain we’ve been — knowingly or not — climbing our whole lives.   

At the precipice, so much hangs in the balance. 

The election on Tuesday is not a small thing. It likely could be everything.

Rarely has there been an election with so much at stake. It is not an exaggeration to say that the results of this election will directly determine how many people will die from COVID this winter. The results of this election will determine the health of our democracy itself, from our system of checks and balances to the strength of our institutions. Will we, as a country, be able to pull together and vote in numbers strong enough to overcome the ridiculous amounts of gerrymandering and voter suppression that — almost all agree — are necessary for a Trump win? Or will the United States become “another abject discard on the ash heap of failed republics going back to ancient Rome and Greece,” as Michael Hirsch wrote in last month’s Foreign Policy, an article whose words continue to haunt me. 

My anxiety is back — for first time in 15 years. It’s not surprising, really.

Mike and I have been doing this Saturday morning routine for so many months that it’s hard to remember what life was like before the world went crazy: Mike, up early, running COVID numbers, myself, up early, attempting to write something light and funny about life. Yet the Saturday morning soundtrack of 2020, the one of tears and death — pandemic, police, children in cages — runs like a loop in the background.

My coffee is cold. I walk downstairs for a refill, and see that the boys are up. “MOM!!!!” Pax comes running at me for a hug. They are both gleeful — it is almost 9AM and they are allowed screen time at 9. “War Thunder’s Halloween version is out,” Raines tells me, seriously. He kisses my cheek, then walks into the playroom, his mind already in a different world.

I know what I want to write about. I want to write about the killing of Walter Wallace in Philadelphia, the latest black man to be shot dead by police. About the protests and nightly curfews that have followed. About how stores are boarded up all over the city. About watching the video of his death — taken by a bystander — because I couldn’t fathom that, after all of the protesting all summer, after all of the work so many have done to bring the Black Lives Matter movement into the forefront…that two cops would actually choose to shoot another black man, days before the most crucial election in our recent history.

So I watched, in a state of shock, as two officers shot a black man from almost 10 feet away. To say that this man was, like the reports claimed, “threatening” them is laughable. Walter Wallace had a knife in his hand, but he was basically staggering around, slowly. His mother was right there, begging the cops to lower their guns. The cops, after yelling a few times to drop the knife, suddenly opened fire, and shot fourteen times. All at once, with no warning shot. They shot fourteen times, in rapid succession from ten feet away, into the body of a man who had taken a slow, staggering step toward them.

They shot fourteen times because Walter Wallace wasn’t listening

I don’t know what situations the Philadelphia police are appropriately trained for…but it clearly this isn’t one of them. To say — as this article states — that the cops were correctly following police protocol shows exactly how broken our system really is. Fixing it will likely take years. Decades.

I stare out the window…breathing in, breathing out…until my heartbeats slow.  

We’re on a precipice, a culmination of sorts, one that has been years in the making. This is our great historical moment — one that will be written and studied and discussed for decades to come. That fact is staggering, but palpable. You can feel it.

We will likely not know the outcome on Tuesday night.  

But I hope we know…something.

Breath in, breath out.

Currently: distracting myself with holidays. And I’m not even a little bit sorry. To start, I’m ordering this genius Christmas song advent calendar because that’s literally the only one I can even remotely commit to. (Also, someone please make a yearly one — I would 100% buy it.)

Also, glowing bath cubes. Pax is suddenly into bath time again so I just picked up this bubble bath for seriously epic bubbles, and am going to give him these glowing bath cubes for his birthday, too.

My go-to gifts for literally everyone this year…this chic, scented hand sanitizer and one of these silk masks. Linzi discovered both, and I cannot overstate how much daily life has improved with silk masks and nicely scented hand sanitizer. Mike wants them, Pax wants them, Raines wants them…and I’m just going to order a bunch to use as random gifts for everyone.

Winter planning… I just ordered a ton of everyday snow boots, and was surprised by how much I loved these Sorels. Super-lightweight, feels more like a sneaker, waterproof, warm, has a grippy bottom and looks cute with jeans. I currently have the light gray (or ‘quarry’) at home, but am eyeing up the ‘elk’ black-and-tan combo. (Our Backcountry code, THEMOMEDIT, should take 15% off, too.) The gray looks especially cute with a cream puffer. My current fav is this one — it’s shockingly chic on.

And for the latest development in our Quest For Fleece-lined Pants…Athleta’s Peak Hybrid fleece tight. While I WANT to be the girl who nonchalantly rocks white, fleece-lined leggings…I will probably end up keeping the black. BUT I WILL TRY THE WHITE, THIS I SWEAR.

Reporting back…I finally ordered that sustainably-made, Tiger graphic tee from Able. The fit is GOOD. Like…seriously, unexpectedly good. The fabric is high-quality, the seams fit right at the shoulders, the sleeves are perfection, and the design is both chic and cool. The kind of tee I threw on…then did a double-take in the mirror.

Do we like these sneakers? These gold, black and leopard Geox sneaks are maybe…fancy party sneakers? If by “fancy party” we mean “socially distanced alone in your house pretending there’s a party” sneakers. (Still a valid party, BTW.)

Mike, did I take my Tamoxifen today? I was forever looking for a cute pillbox during my chemo phase…and then again in the following five Tamoxifen years. It is a seemingly impossible task for a girl to remember to take something daily. So. If anyone is looking for a cute little somethin’ for a breast cancer survivor (or, I suppose, a gift for someone who is Very Serious About Vitamins)…I love this chic mirror/pillbox combo.

Reminder: The best cashmere ever is on sale. At the risk of sounding like a broken record…NAADAM’s cashmere is currently 25% off. See my favs here.

Hang in there, gang.




  1. I love love that pillbox! I bought an identical one years ago and had not been able to find it again. The double-catch is brilliant because every other pillbox just pops open and then it’s pills galore in my purse. Thanks for posting this!

  2. Thank you for keeping it real. I don’t want light and funny now. Shopping feels shallow and hollow – I rarely read those posts these days. Many Americans need to take off their blinders realize this is NO exaggeration.

  3. Agreed. I come to this blog as an escape from the social/political climate because it is a shopping blog. Not for political beliefs, scare tactics and single sided viewpoints which we are constantly being bombarded with.

  4. Thank you for sharing this! It is so important and it is what sets your blog apart from others as a source of authenticity and balances the fluffiness of fashion with what really matters.

  5. Shana, I have followed you since the second week you blogged on ANMJ. I started reading to find a way to feel pulled together after having two young children with intensive medical needs. All those years ago you inspired me to reclaim my style. However, I have stayed as you, and the entire TME team, because you inspire me to remember my humanity.

    To those who say that you need an escape from the current climate of our country, I I hear you. It’s all too much- the discord, the division, the horror and many times the hatred. However it is our reality and many of our fellow humans don’t have the luxury to turn away from it all. They live it even single day.

    I know I cannot turn away from it. Not as a mother. Not as wife. Not as a daughter. Not as a friend. Not as a leader in my organization. Not as a citizen. Not as a woman. Not as a human. There is too much at stake for our greater community.

    “This is our great historical moment — one that will be written and studied and discussed for decades to come…” YES. It is palpable. My children are now teens, and they talk about this more nights than not. Thank you for using your platform. Thank you for being an inspiration. Thanks to Mike for all the work he is doing. Thank. YOU.

  6. No, @autumn, definitely NOT an exaggeration, and if you think it is, you’re probably living in a tiny bubble with a Trump sticker on it.

  7. Anyone who thinks that this is ‘just a shopping blog’ and expects a place to escape commentary about social justice and politics has clearly not been paying attention.

    Shana and team I appreciate your authenticity and your commitment to making us think. Thank you.

  8. I don’t know why someone who feels “constantly bombarded” with political views would say they come here to only read about shopping. Makes no sense.

  9. Thank you B for an amazing comment! I could not have written it any better. SAME PAGE ALL THE WAY.

    And super thankful for this blog that has sustained me through lots of phases and stages.

  10. I think, more than anything, that this case in Philadelphia this week highlights how broken multiple systems in our country are. This man has a history of mental illness and numerous arrests for violent crimes. It is unbelievably difficult to get care for mental illness here. It doesn’t make sense to me. Walter Wallace clearly did not have the services he needed in place. I don’t think there was any chance that anyone could come out the winner in this case…not the police, not Mr. Wallace or his family, certainly not his mother. The entire system in Philadephia is set up for everyone to lose in this instance. I tend to agree with former mayor Street when he says that it is a failure of leadership. This was the third time the police had been called to that house that day. Those police were not equipped with tasers. It all shows how much change is needed. And I think that the leaders in this city need to step up and take responsibility for the lack of tools and education and training that is given to our police. I don’t know what the fix is, but I certainly hope that someone can figure it out soon. I don’t see how we can go on with a system this broken. And on another note, Shana, does Mike have any insight into the Covid situation right now? I’m fascinated by what he does and would love to hear his take on it. Thanks for always keeping us thinking. I have the utmost respect for you all and for what you do here.

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