Pax is back in soccer. I say “back” even though – technically – he’s never played a full season. His older brother has, and we’ve spent many a gray Saturday watching Raines stroll around a soccer field, looking at clouds.
It almost drove me to madness.
It’s funny, though – Raines wasn’t actually bad at soccer, he’s decently athletic – it’s just that he cared so very little. Kids would all go running for the ball (which happened to land in front of Raines) and he’d just, ya know, take a step back. With a sort of confused look on his face all like, ‘what’s the rush?” Even games where Raines appeared more engaged (he even scored a goal once I just can’t even)…when I asked him his thoughts after the game he replied with, “Mom did you know that in WWII….”
(And no, there wasn’t some hidden soccer point. He literally just wanted to talk about WWII.)
A couple of years ago, we were all playing soccer together at the playground: Raines, Pax, Mike and I. “Raines!” I said. “You’ve gotta pretend that the ball is your ball. You own it. It’s YOURS. So keep it away from me.” We started playing. Pax, three or four at the time, stood back, watching his brother critically. “NO WAINES!” he shouted. “IT YOUR BALL WIKE DIS!!” and came trucking on into our game like some bowling ball, knocking the pins down and stealing the soccer ball away. “IT MY BALL” he cried, then kicked it as hard as he could into the bushes. Satisfied, he turned around. “Wike DAT, Waines” he repeated.
So yeah – Pax is playing this year. This is actually our third try with Pax in soccer. Shortly after the “IT YOUR BALL WIKE DIS” incident, we did put him into tiny tot soccer program. He spent the majority of each game throwing a screaming fit because someone had taken the ball away. After I carried him – sobbing – off the field several times, he eventually learned to tantrum while crawling dramatically towards the sidelines but really, this was only a marginal improvement. So soccer ended early for Pax that year.
The next year he went back….only to start sobbing every time he caught sight of me. (And yes, you guys, I was SMILING at him). He’d run off the field, grab my hand, and insist that I come on the field to literally hold his hand while he played. He is exhausting. I found myself spending the entirety of that season hiding behind other adults. Between this nonsense and Raines’ ambivalence, I don’t know if we even went to the last game. Soccer momming isn’t top of my list on a good day, and man. This did NOT seem like our sport.
But Pax has been playing soccer at recess and has been begging us to put him into a league. At this point, we’ve now taken a couple of years off so maybe he has emotionally matured….?? Anyway, his first practice was last night. Mike took him (just in case), and all seemed to go well. He didn’t cry, or tantrum, and he played hard. I showed up with about 15 minutes left and….yeah. It was good. Mike and I both breathed a sigh of relief. On our walk home, however, Pax totally melted down. “These kids were mean to me, and I used my hands once, and then there was that one BIG kick where I totally missed the ball and I’m THE WORST and I NEVER WANT TO PLAY SOCCER AGAIN!!”
Of course, two minutes later, all is forgotten as he and his brother run around passing the soccer ball back and forth.
This kid, you guys. Sometimes I feel like I know exactly how to parent him (the nut doesn’t fall far etc etc) and sometimes I feel like I’m wildly out of my league. Does anyone else have a Pax? Are there any helpful books or bits of advice?
I only recently realized that Glennon Doyle (of Momastery) is now married to Abby freaking Wambach, a total hero of women’s soccer. Coincidentally, Glennon just posted this sage bit of advice about how Abby watches their kids play soccer on her FB page. “Our daughter has a coach. She needs a mom.”
I love this. I find that all too often, if I’m really struggling with the kids, sometimes the best thing to do is to step back, shut my mouth, and just love the heck out of them. There’s something that feels especially supportive about giving them the space (and time) to figure it out on their own. (But I’ll still take book recommendations, haha.)
Possibly, a new team obsession. At a recent team meeting, Cam brought UGG’s Lena Fluff Flat to our attention (also on Amazon). We think…..we think we love it? It will either read quirky ballerina or ladylike hobbit, too soon to tell. We’ll post pics to the TME IG (@themomedit) soon. (UPDATE: Cam threw a quick pic on her IG stories, @camilledipaola if it hasn’t yet expired…. )
Exactly like your lips, but better. During the Sephora sale, I ordered Bite Beauty’s lip gloss in Dirty Chai after reading so many glowing reviews. I’m not a gloss girl (at ALL), but I’m happy to report that this little product is everything I hoped it would be. It feels good on, and the color is, in fact, exactly the same color as my lips….just slightly enhanced.
My absolute favorite sweater is back. I bought this striped cashmere La Ligne sweater a few years ago, and it’s been one of my go-tos ever since. So much so that I also bought it in maroon (which has since sold out). This sweater – in any color – is worth every penny. You can see the maroon one on me here, or the older white one here (in Iceland), or here with white denim. WARNING: There will be an article featuring this sweater next week. And based on a few rave reviews from readers…you guys seem to like it as much as I do, soooo….don’t wait.
A new home for Homer. Our much-beloved illustrated copy of The Odyssey never made it back from our trip to Greece this summer. Even worse, it’s been showing ‘Temporarily out of stock’ on Amazon for months. But it turns out that this book is available as part of a two-book set (both The Odyssey and The Iliad by Gillian Cross) and the set is on sale for $25! The artwork is stunning, and the text is accessible, but without completely losing the vibe. Would make a great gift, too.
I’m on an eggplant kick. Two weekends ago I made Eggplant With Cashew Butter and Pickled Peppers. It was delicious, and, even better, the sauce and peppers can be used on basically any roasted vegetable. This weekend I want to try Roasted Eggplant with Crispy Kale and Yogurt. We had something similar on the boat in Turkey…and it was AMAZING.
Still we fight. I’ve been so impressed with Together Rising’s continued march forward on the issue of family separation. They have funded the staff and infrastructure necessary to actually find the parents who have already been deported. There’s still tons of children that need to be reunited with their parents, but this organization feels like hope. You can read their recent update, here.
Smile, goats like it. A recent study thinks that maybe goats can distinguish between happy and angry faces…and that they might actually like happy faces better. This random tidbit was picked up by several news outlets, but I like NPR’s coverage the best.
This mom wins. Double stroller, Ergo, Birkenstocks and….a hover board. I mean WOW.
Happy weekend, everyone…hope you are all staying safe and dry. (Cams, you too.)