Weekend 2.6

7
7441

Pax has my phone. He’s been watching (and re-watching) videos of himself snowboarding. I peek over his shoulder and smirk. God, he’s such a glory hound — of course he’s watching (and re-watching) himself. I sit next to him on the step, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “Whatcha looking at?” I ask, teasing. Obviously, I’m expecting his answer to be something like JUS WOOKIN’ AT MAH BEAUTIFUL SELF, MOM.

Instead, Pax ignores me and peers closer. I hear him muttering to himself. He has the video zoomed in, and is stepping through it, frame-by-frame. Step. Step. Step. Rewind. Step. Step. Pause. He uses his fingers to zoom in….then zooms out again, re-watching the same part. Finally, Pax looks up at me and sighs.

“Mom, do you see this- right here?” He steps through the video again, pausing it at the exact moment he launches off some jump.  “See how my knees are not fully extended? See my exact position???” He looks at me, his eyes deadly serious. There is no trace of a smile or his typical mischievous humor. “Yeah,” he continues. “That’s wrong. I need to take off when I’m…” he goes back a frame or two “—HERE. This is where I should be taking off. And see how my legs are never fully extended?” He shakes his head disgustedly, then sighs. 

I am dumbfounded. When did he learn this stuff? I mean…he’s ten

I realize — belatedly — that my brain counts 10 Pax years as only slightly older than the chubby baby who used to shout, MOM I WOOK FOR YOU during hide-and-seek. So how is he suddenly discussing the finer points of snowboarding like an Olympic medal is on the line? 

I am dumbfounded because I am falling so far behind.

I do not know how to stop being a mom of little boys. I do not know how to process these grown-up thoughts and goals and dreams. I do not quite know what they now need from me, after more than a decade of being everything they ever needed. 

I’m still stuck, way back here, thinking that Pax was simply happy about wooking like a big boy on his snowboard.

Wait, Pax. Wait for me to catch up.

Mummy is trying.


An ode to my favorites. I was trying to find a link for the limited-edition Adidas superstars I’ve been wearing the heck out of (basically the same as the original pair, just with a subtle floral pattern on the side)…when I came across these. The little scribble heart on the side is so freaking cute. This design can also be found on these seriously cool paperbag waist sweats (and matching jacket). It’s past time to do an ode to my Adidas Superstars on the blog — they’re easily my most-worn shoe of all time.

Ski jackets for always-cold Mamas? I’m always freezing on the hill, so I typically go with something that’s majorly insulated. My current jacket is Spyder’s GTX Haven Infinium Jacket, but this cute Burton one is also heavily insulated and on sale. Linzi has also been eyeing up this white-and-black puffer ski jacket, which might be just as warm (and is 30% off).

Such an Aquarius. Rag & Bone has a new style out…and, per usual, I LOVE IT. Truth be told, I bought ’em because the wash was called ‘aquarius’ and it totally lives up to my expectations — one of the coolest washes I’ve seen yet. If you’re signed up for our newsletter, I’m wearing them in our special Sunday night edition (this week’s theme is ‘My Newest Pair of Jeans’).

Don’t wait. I’ve been a longtime fan of Black-owned business LemLem — the designs are soft, gorgeous, and perfect for summer…but pricey. However, the prettiest red-and-white print just went on sale, so all sizes and styles are still fully stocked. My two favorites are the shorts and the romper, but I suspect many of you would swoon over the caftan.

I agree with Em…Biossance’s Vitamin C serum is freaking amazing. I’ve been layering it under my SPF and using it at night after a day of skiing, and it’s just…healing. My skin is much more glowy this winter, less irritated than usual. There’s currently a Valentine’s Day special, the Bright Beginnings Set (on sale for $29), that includes a mini size of the Vitamin C serum, a mini Rose oil, and that lip balm we’re wildly obsessed with. (Oh — and I was on a Zoom call with JVN a few weeks ago, and he swore the Vitamin C serum lightened up some of his dark spots within a week, too. So there’s that.)

Makeup for the no-makeup crowd. Clean makeup brand Saie just hit my radar. Intrigued, I ordered the 2-minute makeup kit and HOLY MOLY GANG. The standout products were the liquid lip balm (not quite a gloss, but more than a balm) that made my lips looked naked but perfect (literally the best ‘your lips but better’ I have EVER seen), and Sunvisor, which is a serum, oil, moisturizer and sunscreen all-in-one. It feels really lux going on – some of the best SPF formulas I’ve ever used. It’s slightly tinted, but reads more moisturizer than foundation. (And all of the products in the kit were great — I highly recommend.)

The next book I’m getting my kids: Amari and the Night Brothers. It’s been described a ‘Artemis Fowl meets Men in Black’ and…’nuff said, I think? (The above link also goes to Harriet’s Bookshop, a local Black-owned bookstore in Philly.)

A fancy, vegan breakfast idea? I was kind of blown away by this recipe for a vegan (and gluten-free) “souffle” with spinach and artichoke. Sounds too good to be true…right? Her photos (step-by-step) are pretty compelling, though. Wow.

I would be pleased to RSVP as…pending. You guys have been freaking hysterical in our February Style Challenge (over on IG, @themomedit). The “channel Moira Rose” challenge made my life (and this one aaaaand this one — we seriously thought Catherine O’Hara was playing along for a hot sec).

A slightly different perspective on Black History Month. I really appreciated these words from Black Moms Blog. Such a good freaking point, and it’s beyond time to change the narrative.

Well-meaning white parents…read this. Before we go down the path of re-opening schools — and using the plight of innner-city kids as part of our justification — maybe give Rachelle Chase’s article, The ReOpen Schools Now Debate is Rooted in Racism, a read. It’s one of those articles I’ve now read through several times — it’s a thought-provoking, important one.

xo,

S

7 COMMENTS

  1. You are not alone in your mom struggles. I love being a boy mom (and a girl mom, too, but there’s just something about boys and their mom, I think). But getting it right is not easy. I’m working to find the balance to raise confident, respectful, kind, nice men who are conscious of their place in this world and grateful for the advantages they have and understanding of the positions of others, and…so much more. And I worry so much that we’re doing it all wrong. So, no inspirational message from me. Just acknowledging that you are not alone in these trenches. Also, the LemLem jumpsuit and caftan are awesome. That’s what I want my summer to look like now!

  2. I don’t know, I think schools do need to reopen. And I think that we do need to have serious conversations about kids at risk, regardless of race, etc. Look at statistics across the country and you will see that it’s not good overall. (In St. Paul MN schools have given out 38% more Fs this year compared to last) I’m walking through the process of special education right now with my child in 4th grade who is going full time in person all year. It’s been a mess. The teachers have said that any child on an IEP is hurting in terms of learning, some of them significantly. We’re also a foster family and have had lots of conversations with social workers about how for many kids, schools are the safest place. I know in the article the author wrote that schools weren’t the safest place for some kids even before the pandemic, and I am not trying to say that’s not true, but for many school is. Unfortunately, I don’t think there is any system, educational or different, that will meet the exact needs that everyone in the world is wanting/needing. I know in my state (MN) every school is required to have an online option available to families regardless if the school is in person or not.

    And spot on for the Black History month. We are a transracial family and both of my black children have come home from school feeling worse about themselves from Black History month. They’re from Africa, and while their particular country has had it’s own host of issues (because let’s be honest all countries in the world have their own issues) they do not have a history of slavery in their narrative, and we definitely need to reframe this concept.

  3. You described so perfectly how it is to have a son growing so fast. I’m in the same boat, mine’s just 4 going on 10 at the moment and I feel like he should be 2, max.

  4. Ugh. One of the hardest things about being the mom of growing older kids is managing the transition from being everything to your kids to essentially being on the periphery of their lives. It’s such a natural transition for the kids, but so difficult to accept and maneuver for the mom.

  5. I feel the mom feels so much this morning. I think the stress of the pandemic is definitely making it worse too. Ugghhhhh. Hang in there. No inspirational words here either. This is hard.

Leave a Reply