Weekend 5.22

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Do your kids have Greenlight cards? They basically function like debit cards for kids, but the parents can choose how much money the kids can access. So if you have a kid who’s prone to losing his card (Raines), or a kid who doesn’t pay attention to how much he spends (Raines) you can keep that balance fairly low.

However, it’s also easy to add money. It’s literally a click of a button in an app on your phone, and the money is instantly available to your kid. So if you ever have a kid who calls in a panic because he is trying to pay for ice cream that he’s already started eating (yup, still Raines), you can quickly and easily add funds.

Fundamentally, your kids’ Greenlight card is tied to your bank account, which is why funds are immediately available.

This is important to understand, because Pax, our freaking evil genius, is using this fact to f-ck with his Dad on the reg.

I happened to walk in one day and “caught” Mike staring at his phone. No big deal, but the man jumped a foot in the air and was all, “DON’T STARTLE ME” in a very un-Mike-like way. Usually he’s pretty unflappable, so obviously I was like, “porn.”

Nope.  

Instead, Mike was, oh-so-carefully, denying a Greenlight transaction request from Pax.  

For $10,000.

It turns out that Pax, at least once per week, has started requesting $10,000. It’s really not a big deal, all Mike has to do is hit the “deny” button but…there is the small fact that the “deny” button is right next to the “approve” button. So if Mike hits the wrong one….

To further keep his Dad on his toes, Pax changes up his request pattern. He’ll lull Mike with typical $10 requests for a while and then — BAM — hit him with another $10,000 request.

“Dad!!!” Pax crowed, one day. “What WOULD HAPPEN if you ACCIDENTALLY HIT YES? WOULD I GET $10,000 IN MY ACCOUNT?”

Absolutely not, Mike told him. Not gonna happen.

But then, privately, to me: “Babe…I think it would start trying to transfer $10,000 out of our account…” he stares off into space, thinking. I see when the realization dawns — his 10-year-old is completely f-cking with him and winning — and his jaw sets.

Instead of just taking away Pax’s Greenlight card (my suggestion), Mike has decided to Win. Which means (to Mike) that he cannot show weakness. And so he continues with this bizarre game I like to call Nonchalant Chicken.

Pax requests, Mike nonchalantly denies. And on and on.

But Mike is showing signs of breaking, getting twitchier with every request. “It’s really just a matter of time, Babe” he says. “If he keeps this up, statistically…at some point…” here he trails off.

Meanwhile, I’m just going to do the sane thing and open up a new (smaller) account to manage kid funds. I mean seriously. MIKE.

But I’ll wait a few more weeks. Pax is having too much fun making his Dad sweat.


Longtime linen love. I’ve waxed poetic about Reformation’s linen dresses before, they are literally the FIRST thing I pack for every summer trip we’ve taken in the last few years…and end up being go-tos all summer long. I’ve literally never found anything I like even remotely as much. They’re so impossibly pretty, yet cool in the summer. So. I ordered a bunch of their new ones to see if there were any standouts this year. Check out this IG reel for a sneak peek, but I ended up keeping…many. And I’ve been wearing this black linen midi and this black linen mini the most. (If you like the backless look but need a strapless bra…try this one.)

Yeah, I’m still wearing skinny jeans. Specifically this pair from MOTHER Denim, which I’ve been referring to as my ‘pajama jeans’. They’re stupidly soft and comfy, and are the jeans I reach for when traveling, whether it’s a long flight or an 8-hour road trip. They also happen to be on sale.

Restocked. If anyone is looking for a foolproof, go-with-everything white graphic tee…my fav tiger tee from sustainable fashion house ABLE has just been restocked.

The tea from tweens. Apparently, the cutest swimsuits/bikinis for tween girls (according to the crew my kiddos hang with) are Maaji swimsuits. I’ve been a longtime fan of the brand myself, due to the cool patterns and stay-put cuts so I wholeheartedly endorse this move. Happily, it looks like all tween Maaji suits are currently 25% off at Backcountry right now. (Actually, toddler and little kid sizes are on sale, too.)

Two trends I’m sitting out: Tiny cat-eye sunglasses and shoulder pad anything. Both look costumey on me, and the tiny sunglass thing just strikes me as…annoying. Do your job, sunglasses. DO YOUR JOB.

This annoys me. I don’t love when high-low skirts are made from fabrics that are only printed on one side. I mean…I get that affordable fashion needs to make some trade-offs, but a $350 Alice + Olivia skirt? No.

OMG stop listing things that bug you. Clearly I’m feeling some kind of way. But here’s something exciting: J.Crew brought back one of my favorite-ever sweatshirts…WITH matching shorts. Don’t sleep; they’ll be sold out by June (lesson learned from last year).

Reader question, help needed: We got an email from “thicker thighs in Charleston” who is asking about the best denim shorts for thicker thighs. Which then prompts some sort of swirling over-analysis by the entire team (“Do I have thick thighs?” “Is muscular the same as thick?” “Are my thighs thick enough to answer this question?” “Does a bigger bum count?” etc., etc.,).In short, we’ve yet to hear of anyone not liking AGoldE Parker shorts, and I think Abercrombie’s Curve Love Shorts look like solid possibilities. Clearly we need to do more research on this topic. Do any of you have good recommendations?

Picky about tomatoes. If it’s not summer, fresh tomatoes are a tough sell. They’re usually too hard and tasteless to waste time on. But I LOVE homemade salsa. So until the farmer’s market starts carrying local tomatoes again, I’m going to give Smitten Kitchen’s Seasonless Salsa recipe a try (she uses canned tomatoes).

Obsessed with The Linda Lindas. In response to a comment a boy made about Chinese people, The Linda Lindas wrote (and performed) the song, Racist, Sexist Boy. ps. She’s 10. (Here’s the full story on these seriously badass little girls.)

This is not a drill. A huge report is due out in June on…UFO sightings. Like, for reals. It turns out that there was some random provision in an appropriations bill asking for a detailed report on, yes, possible UFO sightings. Word is that this report is going to be a BIG DEAL. More deets here.

Enjoy your weekend!

xo,

S

13 COMMENTS

  1. Literally DYING reading this. I just read it through 3 times because I love it so much. Pax for President! Look out Mike!

  2. We gave our kids actual debit cards against their own accounts, where we auto deposited their allowance. They learned to budget. I still remember my 10 year old realizing that if they went to Starbucks every day after school, they wouldn’t have enough money left for clothes.

  3. What do you recommend for fit on the Jcrew sweatshirt? I have the mint green one in my cart atm and hope to wear it over leggings and biker shorts

  4. Yes, please for thick thighs denim shorts! Good American bombshell shorts are the best that I’ve found. Purchased last year based off of Scotti’s recommendation.

  5. The Parker shorts are close but not quite wide enough in the leg and booty unless you size up a lot, and then it’s just too big in the waist. Didn’t work for me. Would love other suggestions.

  6. I hope your coming Reformation post will have A LOT of information about bra ideas included! For instance, what do they look like with a pretty lace bralette worn underneath, especially for the backless dresses. Because I’m guessing not wearing a bra IS NOT AN OPTION for the vast majority of your readers.

    • Well…the first post won’t. Truthfully, I’m struggling to find bras that don’t look silly with the backless dresses (going braless is mayyyyybe the only silver lining to the breast cancer thing). Ref has a ton of other linen dresses, however, that are just as gorgeous but can be worn with a strapless bra. But I’ll keep playing around. (It’s almost like the backless dresses need those…ugh hate this word: bramis (or a realllly cropped cami-bra) in order to make it look intentional.)

  7. I agree that the GA bombshell shorts are great for thick thighs. I did not get have luck with the A Goldes since I have a butt too. The bombshells fit TTS in my opinion.

  8. I second the request for bra info to be included when you review Reformation (and other) strappy summer dresses. In my experience, the dresses are so light they don’t look right with any bras – even the strapless ones (and I’be diligently tried all of the ones reviewed at TME by Scottish etc)..,,

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