Do your kids have Greenlight cards? They basically function like debit cards for kids, but the parents can choose how much money the kids can access. So if you have a kid who’s prone to losing his card (Raines), or a kid who doesn’t pay attention to how much he spends (Raines) you can keep that balance fairly low.
However, it’s also easy to add money. It’s literally a click of a button in an app on your phone, and the money is instantly available to your kid. So if you ever have a kid who calls in a panic because he is trying to pay for ice cream that he’s already started eating (yup, still Raines), you can quickly and easily add funds.
Fundamentally, your kids’ Greenlight card is tied to your bank account, which is why funds are immediately available.
This is important to understand, because Pax, our freaking evil genius, is using this fact to f-ck with his Dad on the reg.
I happened to walk in one day and “caught” Mike staring at his phone. No big deal, but the man jumped a foot in the air and was all, “DON’T STARTLE ME” in a very un-Mike-like way. Usually he’s pretty unflappable, so obviously I was like, “porn.”
Instead, Mike was, oh-so-carefully, denying a Greenlight transaction request from Pax.
It turns out that Pax, at least once per week, has started requesting $10,000. It’s really not a big deal, all Mike has to do is hit the “deny” button but…there is the small fact that the “deny” button is right next to the “approve” button. So if Mike hits the wrong one….
To further keep his Dad on his toes, Pax changes up his request pattern. He’ll lull Mike with typical $10 requests for a while and then — BAM — hit him with another $10,000 request.
“Dad!!!” Pax crowed, one day. “What WOULD HAPPEN if you ACCIDENTALLY HIT YES? WOULD I GET $10,000 IN MY ACCOUNT?”
Absolutely not, Mike told him. Not gonna happen.
But then, privately, to me: “Babe…I think it would start trying to transfer $10,000 out of our account…” he stares off into space, thinking. I see when the realization dawns — his 10-year-old is completely f-cking with him and winning — and his jaw sets.
Instead of just taking away Pax’s Greenlight card (my suggestion), Mike has decided to Win. Which means (to Mike) that he cannot show weakness. And so he continues with this bizarre game I like to call Nonchalant Chicken.
Pax requests, Mike nonchalantly denies. And on and on.
But Mike is showing signs of breaking, getting twitchier with every request. “It’s really just a matter of time, Babe” he says. “If he keeps this up, statistically…at some point…” here he trails off.
Meanwhile, I’m just going to do the sane thing and open up a new (smaller) account to manage kid funds. I mean seriously. MIKE.
But I’ll wait a few more weeks. Pax is having too much fun making his Dad sweat.
Longtime linen love. I’ve waxed poetic about Reformation’s linen dresses before, they are literally the FIRST thing I pack for every summer trip we’ve taken in the last few years…and end up being go-tos all summer long. I’ve literally never found anything I like even remotely as much. They’re so impossibly pretty, yet cool in the summer. So. I ordered a bunch of their new ones to see if there were any standouts this year. Check out this IG reel for a sneak peek, but I ended up keeping…many. And I’ve been wearing this black linen midi and this black linen mini the most. (If you like the backless look but need a strapless bra…try this one.)
Yeah, I’m still wearing skinny jeans. Specifically this pair from MOTHER Denim, which I’ve been referring to as my ‘pajama jeans’. They’re stupidly soft and comfy, and are the jeans I reach for when traveling, whether it’s a long flight or an 8-hour road trip. They also happen to be on sale.
Restocked. If anyone is looking for a foolproof, go-with-everything white graphic tee…my fav tiger tee from sustainable fashion house ABLE has just been restocked.
The tea from tweens. Apparently, the cutest swimsuits/bikinis for tween girls (according to the crew my kiddos hang with) are Maaji swimsuits. I’ve been a longtime fan of the brand myself, due to the cool patterns and stay-put cuts so I wholeheartedly endorse this move. Happily, it looks like all tween Maaji suits are currently 25% off at Backcountry right now. (Actually, toddler and little kid sizes are on sale, too.)
This annoys me. I don’t love when high-low skirts are made from fabrics that are only printed on one side. I mean…I get that affordable fashion needs to make some trade-offs, but a $350 Alice + Olivia skirt? No.
OMG stop listing things that bug you. Clearly I’m feeling some kind of way. But here’s something exciting: J.Crew brought back one of my favorite-ever sweatshirts…WITH matching shorts. Don’t sleep; they’ll be sold out by June (lesson learned from last year).
Reader question, help needed: We got an email from “thicker thighs in Charleston” who is asking about the best denim shorts for thicker thighs. Which then prompts some sort of swirling over-analysis by the entire team (“Do I have thick thighs?” “Is muscular the same as thick?” “Are my thighs thick enough to answer this question?” “Does a bigger bum count?” etc., etc.,).In short, we’ve yet to hear of anyone not liking AGoldE Parker shorts, and I think Abercrombie’s Curve Love Shorts look like solid possibilities. Clearly we need to do more research on this topic. Do any of you have good recommendations?
Picky about tomatoes. If it’s not summer, fresh tomatoes are a tough sell. They’re usually too hard and tasteless to waste time on. But I LOVE homemade salsa. So until the farmer’s market starts carrying local tomatoes again, I’m going to give Smitten Kitchen’s Seasonless Salsa recipe a try (she uses canned tomatoes).
Obsessed with The Linda Lindas. In response to a comment a boy made about Chinese people, The Linda Lindas wrote (and performed) the song, Racist, Sexist Boy. ps. She’s 10. (Here’s the full story on these seriously badass little girls.)
This is not a drill. A huge report is due out in June on…UFO sightings. Like, for reals. It turns out that there was some random provision in an appropriations bill asking for a detailed report on, yes, possible UFO sightings. Word is that this report is going to be a BIG DEAL. More deets here.
Enjoy your weekend!