You would think I had asked them to shoot a dog or something. There was moaning, flopping to the ground, tears. Pax did that slumped-over, dead-leg walk into the bedroom, admirably wasting 15 whole minutes on what was essentially six steps. He is nothing if not committed to his role.
Raines claimed to not know what a ‘linen cabinet’ was and walked around aimlessly, opening random doors in the house. Once I escorted these two assholes to the actual linen closet, Pax literally fell over backwards, remaining prone on his back, while Raines stared with glazed eyes, a dumbfounded expression on his face.
“HOW DO WE FIND THE SHEETS?” Raines moaned, looking at a shelf filled with, yes, sheets.
I had to take a moment. I mean…the sheets were RIGHT THERE. On a shelf clearly labeled, “Sheets: Queen.” The only other things in the linen closet were towels, which…are not sheets.
Granted, both our sheets and towels are white, but one is so freaking obviously TOWELS and one is so freaking obviously THE SHEETS THEY SLEEP ON EVERY NIGHT and so how is this hard? Is the problem eyesight? Can they not see texture? Is there some rare (and possibly genetic) eye condition that would allow them to spot the tiiiiniest movement in Fortnite yet not be able to distinguish thick terrycloth from cotton sateen?
Yet there is something vaguely familiar about this whole scenario. As Raines stares dumbly into the depths of a closet he has apparently never before seen, at what must look like random bolts of cloth in an 1826-era general store…I am reminded of my husband, blinking at me as I shout, “MY TOWEL, MIKE. WHERE DID YOU PUT MY TOWEL??”
It always takes Mike a minute to process. I can literally see his thoughts in realtime: “Towel…what…is…towel?” I have learned that this step, while hugely annoying/rage-inducing to me, cannot be rushed. This step must happen before Mike can even pretend to be helpful. And if the man is really lost in thought, then he’ll have to start from square one: “Who…is….this…woman…yelling? She…is…vaguely…familiar…ohhhh…wife. Name? Hmmm….”
Once Mike has placed me, identified my spoken language as English (rather than, oh I don’t know — robot?), and deciphered my statement…then, ONLY THEN he can start making the same vague, ineffective motions that my son is currently making while standing in front of the linen cabinet.
Genetics, man. It’s freaking crazy.
Shopping Black-owned businesses just got easier. Nordstrom just launched a section of Black-owned (or Black-founded) brands, which includes one of our favorites, Zelie for She (Kat looks seriously amazing in these pieces). In honor of Black History month, they’re also highlighting some emerging Black designers, and it’s fun perusing through that section as well. I’m obsessed with this baseball hat — will serve as a good reminder that all of this slowing the eff down hasn’t been all bad.
Winter yard sale!! Backcountry is having a giant winter yard sale that’s totally worth checking out. I’m particularly excited about the fleece jackets & sweatshirts — we’re talkin’ good ones: Patagonia, The North Face, Prana, etc. My top picks are The North Face’s Cragmont Fleece hoodie (I have the non-hooded version — it’s great), The North Face Sherpa Crop Jacket (the colorways are so chic), Prana’s Polar Escape Jacket (that collar…whoa!!), Mountain Hardware’s Fleece Hooded Jacket (a fleece that manages to look tailored), and Patagonia’s Woolie Fleece Pullover (the vibe is somehow gamine, and would layer well over a tee).
Perfectly mismatched. I keep eyeing up this simple cami & brief set. It’s just so sweet (and would be perfect for summer).
AHHHH SO CUTE! How did I miss J.Crew’s varsity striped sweatsuits? The vibe is verrrry similar to Sundry sweats, but at a fraction of the cost (especially since they’re currently 30% off with code Spring). The link for the pants, here. I have last year’s vintage terry sweatshirt, and the fabric is really great: high quality, but thin and drapey.
While you’re there…maybe pick up some of J.Crew’s new swim (also 30% off). This is my hands-down favorite.
Summer midis give me hope. And this 100% cotton, animal-print midi by one of my vacation favs (Faithfull the brand) is exactly what I’m hoping to wear this year. Take 20% off with code Lucky21.
A miracle cure for dandruff. All of my boys have dandruff, but Pax was starting to get the really crusty stuff. So I ordered Briogeo’s Scalp Revival Shampoo (with this head massager) and not only did it clear up Pax’s head in ONE shampoo, but he now loves washing his hair (as long as he can use the head massager). We follow it up with the Scalp Revival conditioner (it tingles pleasantly). I also grabbed the between-shampoos treatment oil, but I don’t think we’re going to need it. OH GEEZ: you save a ton if you buy all four products as a set.
Homesick. My insanely gorgeous hometown, thanks to a string of absolutely mind-numbingly freezing weather…has turned into the world’s largest, most glorious outdoor ice rink. My kids are wild with jealousy. (Thanks for the vid, Annie!)
It’s betrayal, not burnout. If you haven’t yet read through the NYT’s article on moms in the pandemic, appropriately titled Primal Scream, then it’s worth a look (and renders better for me on desktop than mobile). I especially appreciated this linked article that shifts our language from burnout to betrayal. So many moms are feeling overwhelmed by life over the last 9 months…and let’s call it what it is: betrayal by “our society’s decision to pursue profit at all costs.” Such an interesting read.
And now, if you’re totally depressed….read through this article that talks about how to actually help working mothers. It’s both hopeful and real. And I read the section at the end, “Men, do your part” out loud to Mike. This idea is gold: “Work in the common area of the home and give the separate home office, if you have one, to the woman.” Ooooo….I’m coming for that office, Mike.
So you want to be an autocracy….I’ve barely been able to watch the impeachment hearings of Trump. The unwillingness of our existing Republican senators to punish an insurrection is chilling: what should be done when a president wants to be an autocrat? (Here’s a handy 10-point checklist on how to be an autocrat — you’ll find that many of these points have already been used by both Republicans and Democrats.) If ever there’s a time for truth and integrity, it’s now. If you are not already following @sharonsaysso, go and check her out. She’s a government teacher turned non-partisan educator on Instagram (here’s her class Government for Grownups), and she’s absofreakinglutely committed to the truth, and teasing it out in even the trickiest, most nuanced of topics. Her recent IG stories on Immigration, for example, are not to be missed — she saved them into a handy highlights reel. (Julieta, thanks for the important find.)
Lastly, Mike can’t stop thinking (and talking) about Throughline’s Anatomy of Autocracy. The podcast draws parallels between the rise of the Third Reich to the rise of other autocracies around the world, and, finally, to what has been happening in the U.S. It then looks to history to figure out ways to dismantle it.
Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day. Here’s something. #snort