When S initially asked me to contribute a few posts to ANMJ, I was really surprised. Flattered, but surprised. I appreciated her confidence in me and decided to leave the comfort zone of my own personal blog (where I live under the assumption that I am the only one reading it) and share my voice here.
The reason I was so unsure about contributing to a mom-style blog is mostly because I consider my 'style' to simply be an accidental whirlwind of comfort-meets-grandmother-meets-basics meets-accessories that could be found at a garage sale or on QVC. I'm a jeans and flats wearer, I repeat outfits on purpose. I don't read fashion magazines and I don't even like shopping. There, I said it.
What convinced me to add my voice? Before I contributed here, and before I was even an expectant mother, I was a loyal ANMJ reader. Even though I don't feel a passion for fashion the way S and M do, I do feel that confidence is the most important and attractive piece you can wear. Unlike most fashion blogs that emphasize trends and rely heavily on photo-shopped magazine images, this blog emphasizes dressing to your body and features pictures of real mothers looking great.
When you become a mother, suddenly your world is turned upside down. Everyone told you that 'everything' would be different after your baby arrived and you believed them, but you didn't really know what they meant. Every.Single.Thing. You are still you, or at least you're trying to be goshdarnit!, but you have a lot of other responsibilities and a new outlook on priorities. There are days when getting your teeth brushed or finding two minutes to shower are hard enough. So the idea of throwing together a cute outfit and possibly adding some make-up? Ridiculous!
Even if it is ridiculous, I'm starting to see that it's important. Of course there will be days where it just isn't imaginable, desirable or physically possible for you to get out of sweatpants, and that's fine. That's life. But most days when you're heading to work, going to the park, running to get groceries, or picking up children strewn all over town, you are presenting your face to the world. Like it or not, how you look sends a message and your child is listening closely to what that message is saying.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think the labels in your clothes or perfectly coiffed hair or an impeccably made-up face are all that important in the cosmic sense. Pursuits of vanity don't speak to your character, despite what pop culture tells us, and I hope to emphasize the importance of what's INSIDE when I'm raising my daughter. But putting on an outfit that makes you feel pretty and some some lip gloss that makes you feel more together can help make you feel more CONFIDENT. Ahhhh confidence, there it is again. The miracle beauty cure-all.
As tempting as it is to leave my teeth unbrushed while sporting a ripped hoodie circa 1999 over my sag bum yoga pants after a night of way too many awakenings (why, oh WHY aren't babies born with teeth!?), I have to admit that I feel more confident if I take 3 minutes (literally) and put on some skinny jeans, a henley and metallic sandals. Add a headband or a cute hat, a few swipes of a toothbrush and some blush and I'm out the door. Do I look like that mythical mother who can do it all AND get herself all fancy every morning? Not even close. Do I look like a human who is attacking the day head-on despite 9 consecutive months of sleep deprivation? I hope so. With just the little confidence boost I get from such minimal effort, I feel more calm, more happy, more able as a mother and a human being.
– Lane
*********
Want to read more from Lane? Check her out here….and psst – she's now in Japan!
Best post ever. Brought tears to my eyes–thanks, Lane!
You inspire me to shower a smidge more often, maybe… Depending on if there were 2 or 4 night wakings. Love you.
Lane, you always get it just right. It’s not about trends or “fashion” or perfection. It’s about confidence, and teaching our children to be confident in themselves, and about tackling our always crazy lives with just a bit more calm.
Love this. Thanks.
Thank you for this. It’s pretty much just what I needed this week 🙂
Lane, you are my hero. I don’t have the passion for fashion that S. & M. have, either, but through this site I have completely changed how I present myself to the world. I feel much more confident and just GOOD about myself. Thanks for this.
Exactly! I put on a nice shirt with my jeans this morning, added a pearl necklace and a pretty headband, and I feel AWESOME! (Even though I almost fell asleep while reading to my toddlers…) 🙂
This is an awesome post. Since I work in an office, getting out of sweats has been mandatory, but I may be staying home with the next kiddo. I’m going to have to remember these words of wisdom.
Lane, I love this post – thank you SO much for your kinds words and honesty. Personally, I’ve always loved your “style” (grandma-QVC-whatever) but even more I’ve always loved your intelligence and charm. I knew that whatever you would choose to write about would be relatable, funny and cool. Just like you.
Thanks for helping up keep it real, girl. 🙂
xoxo
Well said. I feel the days at home are some of the most important days to put myself together. After all, even if I’m not greeting the world, I’m interacting with my family & they’re the most important people in my world. I want them to know they’re worth a little effort & lip gloss too!
Adding calm to a crazy life is so empowering!
I stay home with my kids. I take a shower every day, I do my hair every day, I do my makeup every day, I wear my jewelry every day. I only wear workout clothes out in public if we are going to the gym later in the day. It takes a few extra minutes and I am certainly no fashionista. But it makes me feel better to be clean and dressed somewhat nicely.
I’m not saying every mom should do this, but every mom should consider what she needs to do that makes her feel good. For me, it is fun to play with my makeup and jewelry. Therefore, I invest the few extra minutes every day.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for saying what I’ve been trying to convey when other moms look at me thinking “but you are just dropping off your child at preschool and you’re wearing all that?” I’ve always said — it is just as easy to put on skinny jeans and flowly blouse as it is to put on sweat pants and that stained (yet comfortable) long sleeved t! Cheers to Lane!
Thanks for all the awesome feedback! So glad you ladies find your own way to keep it real, comfortable and still ‘you’!
I’m a 7week new mom. This post helped me so much. I love this blog along with many other mom like blogs….but this post was a bit mire real. Less “this is how awesome I am” and more “thus is how awesome YOU can be and are”.. thank you!
Amen!
And dressing better as a busy mom doesn’t have to mean breaking out the heels and pearls, either. As commenter C notes, above, it can be as simple as swapping the yoga pants for skinny jeans.
I once wrote a post about the 5 Levels of Working Mom Outfits and my point was to say that no matter what the occasion, whether relaxed or formal, you can look great and feel great, too. (http://www.closet-coach.com/2011/02/15/the-5-levels-of-working-mom-outfits/)
You’r totally right with this piece.