While I’m pretty much a jeans-and-a-sweater girl all winter long, once summer hits, I love a pretty dress. In years past, when I was in the absolute thick of mothering two tiny little boys, my pretty dresses were mostly just those stretchy, black jersey numbers. You know the ones: they’re stretchy, comfy, and (usually) easy to nurse in. But as the boys got older, my sartorial choices started expanding.
dress (s) also at Nordstrom | bag also here | bracelet | heels
Then, of course, I got breast cancer.
dress (s) also at Nordstrom | bag also here | bracelet | sunglasses | sneakers
It’s a funny thing, breast cancer. Once I fully recovered — and I did, in fact, fully recover; it’s been ten freaking years since my diagnosis — I spent a good amount of time deliberately not thinking about it. My life is full and complex and I hate labels because even good ones are limiting — and I needed (need?) my life to be about more than just being A Survivor.
If I’m honest, there are a zillion ways that breast cancer has impacted my life — my choices, my outlook, my perspectives, my parenting, my relationships. But that’s a story for another time, it can easily veer into maudlin territory, and right now the sun is shining, the waves are crashing, and my now-big boys are getting ready to go surfing (happily, they still like Mom to come and watch). So let me summarize my breast cancer life lessons thusly:
Wear the damn dress.
dress (s) also at Nordstrom | bag also here | bracelet | heels
This concept of Wearing The Damn Dress first dawned on me while I was packing for our little family’s first-ever “big” trip. Up until that point, all of our family vacations had simply been to visit other family, so this was the first time we were going somewhere all by ourselves. I had been dreaming big dreams of going overseas, but that felt daunting. So we started with five days in Puerto Rico (which I fully documented), and, in a fit of pique over my chemo-short hair, I packed a bunch of dresses, despite the very casual/outdoorsy itinerary.
Turns out, I happily wore the damn dresses. With sneakers and whatever sandals I brought. And I remember feeling, for the first time in a long time…like myself.
dress (s) also at Nordstrom | bag also here | bracelet | sunglasses | sneakers
Now, our boys are older, I’m feeling healthy, and we’re traveling more than ever. And I’m still getting so much joy out of really special dresses. There’s nothing that helps me transition into vacation mode faster than donning a truly beautiful dress. While putting on a dress is a physical act, it’s also a bit of a mental trick and helps me be in the moment whether we’re walking around Sicily or hanging out at home on a random weekend.
dress (s) also at Nordstrom | bag also here | bracelet | heels
I don’t know, guys. Maybe just wear the damn dress.
dress (s) also at Nordstrom | bag, also here | bracelet | sneakers
Make Way For Gorgeous, Glamorous Long Summer Dresses
If you’re in the mood for a dramatic, gorgeous dress that is also immensely practical, I highly (highly!!) recommend a black summer dress, midi or maxi length, in 100% natural fibers (cotton, linen or silk). I’ve found, time and again, that this sort of dress is my top choice for all kinds of city adventures. It’s cool, hides stains, and looks cute with sneakers. If interested, I wrote a whole article about this concept: What To Wear In NYC In The Summer.
If you just want to shop for some gorgeous black dresses…Voilà.
Midi & Maxi Dresses in Black
But if you’re in the mood for a dramatic dress… here are a few more that caught my eye:
Midi & Maxi Dresses In Colors, Prints & Whites
xo,
S
photo credits: Redfield Photography
This hits close to home today, as I had my first chemo 3 days ago. I look to you, and so many others, as a beacon of hope and light and joy and have so many dresses (actual and metaphorical) that will be worn, thank you for these posts for us that are just starting down this path.
Oh babe. I’m so freaking sorry to hear this – it’s a long road, for sure. But, oddly enough, it isn’t all bad. Has a way of….clarifying. Hang in there. Reach out if you have questions, etc. Am always happy to talk. xoxo
I am absolutely in agreement with you Shana. And I’ll be thinking of you Annie. After surviving colon and breast cancer I have been diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer. I’ll never be free from it, but I’m hoping we can manage it and I’ll have some good years ahead! I went ahead this winter and purchased faux leather pants, not my usual but they looked fabulous and I felt great in them. Lately I’ve lost a lot of weight from the chemo but that just gives me an excuse to buy new clothes. Haha..We have to be grateful for every day, good or bad.
And that’s just it, isn’t it? We really only have these moments. Deb, I’m so freaking sorry that this path you have in front of you is so unbelievably hard. Especially after all you have come through. I’ll be thinking of you every time I wear the damn dress. Sending you so much love.
I was looking for a summer maxi dress for my vacation and came across your article. My breast cancer scars are so visible, from the mastectomy, reconstructive surgeries and the huge one across my back and ribs from the lap flap. Your article made me feel better about just wearing whatever regardless of the scars. I send my prayers to you and everyone who’s gone through or going through cancer.