Vibes & Joy: Sexy Self-Care For The Holidays

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We ran an informal sex survey and asked a few girlfriends, “What is the sexiest thing a partner has ever done?” This conversation would have been more fun in person (over a long weekend girls’ trip, perhaps?), but instead, #2020, so: sex texts.

Responses included the dishes, letting me take a nap, or take out the trash and even: was in charge of school-from-home…once.

Personally, I was thinking more along the lines of a sexy surprise: a hot shower, almost frozen champagne, etc.,? Apparently I was way off-base from the current mood.

Yes: splitting the disproportionately placed home workload is super-sexy…and so are naps.

But so is actual sex, sweet people.

Early in Q1 (our city first ordered stay at home 2020 last spring) our friend KD, Lex and I hosted “The Old-y Wed Game” via Zoom, for our friends to whom we refer, affectionately, as The Marrieds. They are no longer newly wed; they’ve all been married for many years — which in many ways is more fun and easier to roast! It was epic. If you don’t have divorced-single-mom-friends advising you on sex, love, and all matters of the heart from quarantine, and asking you the BEST QUESTIONS ever in a public setting, either find some soon, or consider us yours — we’re here for you!

At the end of that Zoom game, there were winners and there were winners — because in the end, what we all had, was a really good, healthy laugh. Is there anything actually sexier than fun and laughter?

These days, when married and partnered girlfriends show up on my back patio, frustrated (and masked, obviously), and say some version of “I…just…can’t…” I listen with an open ear, mind and heart, then typically tell them all the same thing: I think you need more sex. They almost always roll their eyes. And then I nod my head yes. We all need more sex, it’s no secret, and it’s OK to say out loud. I repeat myself, and if nothing else, eventually, I usually get at least a giggle, if not a laugh out of them. See? Winning.

My favorite therapist once told me, “Adults rub one another one way or another.” Truest words possibly ever….

So. To the magic happy ending of everyone rubbing one another the right way this holiday season, we have a whole list of fun to set the mood, to play and have some fun, and also to encourage sex as self-care. There’s a limit to what we can all do in quarantine — but this, friends, is one of those things we can do.

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A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

1 | The Fireman

If I had a pick for best girlfriend gift, this is it. It’s cute enough, funny enough, and also useful. It’s a clitoral vibrator for external use, with an adorable name. Is the Fireman here to light your fire or put it out? One wonders. Either way, he’s a great gift!

 


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

2 | Lelo Sona 2 Cruise

Eight pleasure settings from this sensational little guy. Easy to clean, and works in the bath or shower too.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

3 | Lelo Massage Wax Candle

THIS is amazing! Eco-friendly, all natural soy wax with shea butter (a few flavors/scents available), and melts into massage oil. I’m stopping a tease shy of slapping our TME sustainable label on this guy, but I promise this candle lights a different sort of sustainable fire.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

4 | UberLube

Pump the perfect amount of lube from a sexy bottle! Not sticky, won’t stain, and has Vitamin E in it. Free of all the bad things!


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

5a | Fleur du Mal Lace Triangle Bra
5b | Lace Thong

Flirty fun in pretty colors and lace! Also pairs well with the black shorts and robe below! It’s a fine line we ride between sweet and sexy — this hits that magic spot!


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

6 | The Noir 29 Oil

Enriched with vitamin E and jojoba, a little massage goes a long way! Think foot massages, hand massages and/or back rubs, that end in bliss. Or a nap. Your choice.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

7 | JimmyJane Ceramic Massage Tool

Hot stone massage tool — even better if you warm them up to soothe or cool them down to refresh. If you partner doesn’t have magic massage hands, get them a tool that helps relieve the pressure!


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

8 | Cuffs + Whip + Flogger +

Who’s ready for a little role play and some soft fuzzy fun? The lover of design in me also loves these artfully displayed on a shelf, just to send a simple message. But yes, sometimes toys are also fun to play with! And somehow, there’s a gentler idea starter set here in white…so innocent, right?


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

9 | SLIP Silk Masks

Pure silk mask for better dreams, or fun play! They come in an assortment of colors and patterns, some playful, some sexy, some just pure fun. Seriously? Check-out those lashes!


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

10 | NJoy Plug

It’s either a hard stop hell no, or not. Want to try something new? Watch out 2021…here we come.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

11 | Black Satin Robe

Add a little satin flare to your cover-up act with this black beauty with flared sleeves!


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

12 | Lelo Couples Vibrating Ring

Couple’s ring worn by men — enhances the sensations of sex for both partners — more intense pleasure. Great stocking stuffer.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

13 | Unbound Cuffies

Just kinky enough! Made from strong, body-safe silicone, a little less intimidating than traditional cuffs, and bonus, no key to lose!


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

14a Hannah Lace Bra | 14b Hannah Lace Thong

Fun playful front-clasp lace bra! A little ruffle goes a long way (in a good way).


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

15 | Sexy Man Candle

The scent of this candle is sexy man, and I can’t get over it, so it’s in my cart for testing purposes, and because it pairs well with that Fireman above for Girlfriends Gift Of The Year! Linzi’s love of a good theme party must be rubbing off on me.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

16 | Ooo La La Cherie

Anyone want to cuddle with a better teddy? Classic perfection.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

17 | Lelo Ina Rabbit Style

The blended climax bliss maker. Remember the rabbit from SITC? And then we all grew up and into this improved technology.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

18 | Manta Male Vibrator

More male toys for partner or self-use! MANTA is a vibrating stroker — it can be held between bodies during intercourse, or used as a BJ accessory. I’m not sure BJs need accessories, but if there was one, well here’s the Manta for ya.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

19a | Lucy Bra

I have this strappy number and love it. It’s barely there and yet says plenty! Is oddly comfortable, and probably best for those of us not so full busted. Lingerie is not one size fits all, but there are fun things to be found for all if you look hard enough.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

19b | Lucy Bottoms

The peekaboo cutout back is…pretty sexy.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

20 | Lioness Smart Vibrator

There’s a good chance that when you click on this biofeedback recording brilliance, it’ll be sold out again — for good reason. Keep your eye on it, set an alert, there’s a reason it sells out and restocks again and again.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

21 | Lelo Sona Cruise 2 + Gold

A little more detailing than the all silicone Cruise above, for those who are always turned on by shinier things!


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

22 | Darling Lace Wrap

Well hello there, Darling! Classic elegance, tasteful and purely sexy. This is not a subtle hint. It is an attention stealer if you need a little more of that without actually wanting to ask for it out loud.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

23 | Luna Vibe

20 patterns, 8 speeds, USB rechargeable, 100% waterproof, extra-soft, one piece, with a long battery life. And it’s quiet. Done.


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

24 | Lace Top Shorts

It might be time to get a little cheeky! For all my love of thongs, peekaboo bottoms, hip huggers, and all the lace and straps in the world, there’s something just simply plain out sexy about a silk short. And comfy too!


A fun list of lingerie & sex toys to set the mood, play & encourage sex as self-care. Think: a  little vanilla kink to spice up the mood — partner or no.

25 | Sport Sheets

I am often asked how to make a great bed. For the purpose of this post, this is my answer — with an Under the Bed Restraint System. All those fun throw pillows that drive your partner nuts just became a new adventure! Voila! More fun!


BTW….We have a few extra presents for you. Find more gift guides here, our gift shop here, and shop by price here.

xoxo,
A

PS: Follow along with me on Pinterest for more Home Inspiration and other random distractions via pretty visuals.

For the Pinners…

11 COMMENTS

  1. I love that there are nearly 2000 views but no comments. Ha! Love you guys for taking a risk and putting this out there. Definitely adding a few things to my personal wish list.

    • Renee- Thank you for my first smirky giggle this morning! You + coffee and today’s already off to a #goodtrouble maker head start. Maybe everyone is just too “busy” to comment. That’s the hope of my true heart. xoxo A

    • KBT- Thank you for laying down a little truth woman, and for getting into the spirit! Hey if all we do is set a mood and inspire a little clicking around here…our real work is done. xoxo A

    • Renee: Always ask! Do I seem like the kinda girl you can’t ask? Many, like a silly number of the products in this post have been, um, “product tested.” That candle was one I found in my own search for new fun. So one should be here soon, and I’m happy to give you a full review if you want to hold off for a few days. We take our jobs very seriously around here;) xoxo A

    • Renee: for you and only you;) I trimmed the wick of the Lelo, so it was a slow burn…it took approx 25 minutes to make enough oil to pour…so if you were going to use this, for an actual massage, rather than just test it, prep time requied. The candle itself is beautiful, I especially love the lid. And the scents are just enough for me…not too strong, which is nice. I poured the wax on my own hands, and I have to say, it took me a little while to really decide how I feel about it…and I ended up at I love it. I know this isn’t the intention of these candles, but my hands are so, so dry right now…and even today, a day later, after loads of dishes and the rest of life, they still feel so much better. The oil feels like something more than just oil…not quite waxy, but something more than oil, which might not be for everyone. And it’s definitely a thicker oil. It took me a few minutes to be ok with that feeling being on my hands, and in the end, I decided I liked it, because it dried and absorbed well-and felt good. The only thing I’d say is that pouring the wax, without putting out the flame is a bit tricky, but that’s likely a skill we can master with practice. I’m glad the one that’s here is here, and there’s another one on the way that I’m looking forward to as well. So I’d say, they probably aren’t for everyone-what is? I like them, a lot…they are pretty, smell good, and feel better. ooo-and I was a little nervous the wax might be super hot and might burn when I poured it…it was not-perfect temp. xoxo A

  2. Just ordered the fireman and the sexy man candle…for the friend who has everything…I think she will appreciate. Thanks for this post XOXO

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