This post has been updated for 2019.

Let me start by saying that of all the posts I’ve ever done here at TME, this might be my fav. There’s a deep sarcastic streak in me that maybe only my brothers and husband and parents recognize, but it’s strong and needs to be fed with slightly harsh, humorous fun. Maybe you have one of those special people in your life, too. Well, you’re welcome. Here are some perfect gifts for them.

Gift Guide For The Sarcastic People In Your Life

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1. Are You There God, It’s Me, Margarita // I don’t care what this book is even about, I want it. It is about literary-driven cocktails, so I want it even more. The perfect host, teacher or book club gift.

2. I’m Silently Correcting Your Grammar Keychain // You know who to give this to…that friend who constantly posts angry spelling frustrations on Facebook. I actually got my mom a mug with this on it for Christmas. Love you, mom! (See how I used a comma there correctly…)

3. Funny Gift Tags // Need a last-minute funny touch for your host gift? Smack these downloadable printouts on anything to add your flair. Included remarks: “Get Your Fake Smile Ready” and “Spoiler Alert: Not A Pony.”

4. I’m A Special Unicorn Tea Towel // For that only-child in your life. It’s not lost on me that Sienna wants all unicorn things for Christmas.

5. Classy Jewelry Holder // We all have someone who loves using this gesture to express themselves. Now you can give them the finger!

6. Tidings of Comfort & Joy…and Cookies & Bourbon Card // I mean, who would I not want to give this to.

7. Surely Not Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting Cross Stitch // I mean, surely not everyone. For the realist.

8. Not Today, Satan Bracelet // For the devilish-kind on your list, a gentle reminder.

9. F-Bomb Paperweight // For my former boss, who really liked that word.

10. I’ll Stop Wearing Black When They Make a Darker Color Mug // Goth gift alert!

11. Cantankerous Cats Card Game // I’m not a cat person, but apparently some people are. You can get this for them.

12. I Like Long Walks Away From Everyone // Me, too. #bye

13. Nope Desk Sign // Just, no.

14. Literary Insults Chart // Never be stuck thinking “oh, I wish I had said that then!” again. Be prepared with fabulous jabs from Shakespeare to Austen. “You have delighted us long enough!”

15. Not A Hugger patch // #ineedmorespace

16. So Emotional tee (similar) // “every time I think of youuuuu…” It has a whole new meaning now. Meaning, you know who needs this in your life.

17. Duchess of Sassy Town socks // I know some 5-year-olds…and some 40-year-olds who def need these.

18. I’m Not Perky Sweatshirt // Wednesday Addams is my hero.

19. Maybe Swearing Will Help mug // It definitely helps me in the car…or when I stub my toe…or when I step on LEGOs…or…

Shop Funny Gifts For Your Snarky Loved Ones

I hope I’ve provided some passable ideas for the dry-humored folks on your list. If you’ve found anything acceptable for those of us who prefer a fine wit to typical holiday gifts, do share.

Tidings of peace…and quiet…to you!

L

P.S. Head over to our full page of holiday gift guides for more seriously cool gift ideas for all your loved ones (or whoever).

Be sure to follow me on Instagram @laurajansenstyle to see daily outfits, and sometimes I’m quippy in my post comments, on good days. And thank you to my forever-sarcastic-loving friend, Posy, for a few of these lovely contributions.